by Therese Ivers, JCL

She signed the papers. For over 17 years she had been known as Sister Ellen Marie. Now with the Vatican’s permission and dispensation of her holy vows, she was Miss Sophie Kandlee (Sophie is a fictitious character made of the different women I have known in her situation). With $300 in her pocket and wearing lay clothes from the last postulant class that didn’t quite fit right, Sophie walked through the convent gate for the last time. Where to? She had friends who could let her stay for a week. After that, who knew? She trusted in the Lord’s providence.

Sophie didn’t have enough money to find a cheap place to rent. Her meager purse did not allow her to get much in the way of clothes from the mall and food on the table. In fact, she was officially homeless. Homeless like other women who joined convents without having or contributing a dowry and then when they received the dispensation from their vows, had no where to go and nothing to live upon.

Over and over, I meet the different Sophies. Good women who have discerned with their community (and Rome or their Bishop) that religious life is not their vocation and who have received the proper dispensations from their vows. What happens to them when they leave their convent? Many are poor and homeless. I have seen too many times how if they are lucky they might get $300 with a plane ticket somewhere. Some are more fortunate and might get a vehicle along with a hundred or two greenbacks. But how is the older woman to bootstrap her way up in society without a home, without proper clothes for work interviews, and often without a college degree or work experience?

Prior to 1983, the Church required that a woman entering the convent to bring with her a dowry. This money was to be set aside, and while the convent could use the interest to pay for expenses during the novitiate, they were not otherwise allowed to touch the fund. If the sister for whatever reason, and at whatever stage (novice, first professed, solemnly professed) left the convent, the funds were to be handed over to her immediately so that she could have a reasonable time to learn how to survive in the real world (as in at least a few months or a year). The convent only got the money if the sister died as sister. While the dowry requirement made it very difficult for impoverished women to enter a community, it protected those who did have one from becoming homeless like Sophie Kandlee.

Finances are not the only problem that former religious may face. Some come from cultish communities and need psychological deprogramming and help. Others have severe problems in adapting “back to the world” since their whole world had been the convent. Some feel betrayed by God and reject the faith because they gave their all and this was the result. There are those who jump into marriage or relationships with no discernment whatsoever simply to keep off the streets. Is this right for a woman who had given God and the Church her all for a good part of her life?

I propose three solutions for this problem. The first is that the dowry be reinstituted by the Church but instead of being made mandatory, it should be made optional.  While this may or may not ever come back into canon law, religious communities should consider allowing dowries in their rules.

Second, before entering a community, those without safety nets (reliable family/friend networks, professional skills and experience, college degrees, etc.) should consider accumulating a “dowry” and consulting a canon lawyer & civil attorney for ways of creating a safety net should they leave religious life.  Consider that even with a degree it is hard to start out life with $300 in the pocket and maybe a plane ticket.  Benefactors and friends may want to establish a safety net dowry fund for an individual or for a community so that those who leave are provided for.

The third (partial) solution to the ongoing problem is for charitable individuals, groups, or organizations to establish half way houses for former religious to help get them on their feet by teaching them life skills, job skills, financial know-how, and to provide spiritual and psychological assistance as needed.

Should you be interested in helping former religious get back on their feet, contact me via the contact form or in the forum.

P.S. Canon law does stipulate that the religious community be “charitable” to the departing member. However… for a lot of reasons womens religious communities CHOOSE not to follow this, or are UNABLE to help because they are poor themselves. By the time an appeal goes to the Vatican, the woman is already on the streets.

by Therese Ivers, JCL

There is a considerable amount of interest among Catholic widows/widowers in the USA in the vocation of consecrated widowhood.  For this reason, I am dedicating a new series of posts on this vocation.  In this first post, I will examine 5 commonly asked questions.

Question:  Who is eligible to become a consecrated widow/er?

Answer:   An Eastern Rite Catholic who was in a valid marriage dissolved by death of their spouse and whose laws of their ritual Church and eparchy permit this form of consecration.

Explanation:

At this point in time, the Latin (Roman) Catholic Church has not re-established the Order of Widows/Widowers in its Canon Law.  However, the Canons for the Eastern Catholic Churches do allow for the consecration of widows and widowers.  Thus, while Eastern Catholics may become members of the consecrated state (in Eastern Catholic Churches members are religious men/women, canonical hermits, consecrated virgins, and consecrated widows/widowers), Roman Catholics in the USA cannot (since the consecrated state in the Latin Church is comprised of religious men/women, diocesan hermits, and consecrated virgins).

Question:   I am 58.  My marriage was annulled by the Church last year.  Since then, my ex wife has passed away.   Am I eligible to become a consecrated widower?

Answer:  A man must be in a valid marriage and this marriage must dissolve by death for him to be eligible for the consecration.  A declaration of nullity (“annulment”) of a marriage given by the Church indicates that a person was never in a valid marriage to begin with.  For this reason, although you lived in what you thought was a marriage, and she has since died, you are considered by the Church to have been a single person throughout this whole time, and do not meet the definition of widower in the eyes of the Church.

Question:  Who is the consecrated widow/ers superior?

Answer:  The consecrated widow/er has as his/her superior the local hierarch.

Question:  I thought there were consecrated widows in the United States.  Are you saying there aren’t?

Answer:  There may be some Eastern Catholic widows who were consecrated in the United States.  Since there are no provisions in canon law or permission for the consecration to be conferred upon Roman Catholic widow/ers in the USA, there are no consecrated widow/ers in the USA in the Roman Rite.  This may change if the Vatican comes out with a Rite of Consecration to the Order of Widows and Widowers.  Please note that there are groups out there who deem their members to be “consecrated widows/ers” because they make private promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  These persons are actually dedicated widows/ers, not consecrated widows/ers, and they do not belong to the Order of Widows/Widowers as this standing comes from the consecration conferred by their hierarch/bishoop, not vows of any kind.

Question:  Do consecrated widows/widowers make the three vows?

Answer:  While that would be up to the laws of the Rite and the particular laws established by the hierarch, it is improbable that they would.  It is more likely that the consecration of widow/ers by the hierarch would be the way a person would enter the Order.  This would be similar to the way consecrated virgins enter the Order of Virgins- through the consecration conferred upon them by their bishop/hierarch.

This is the first part of a series on this topic.  If you have any specific questions about this vocation, feel free to send us a message by going to the contact us page.

by Therese Ivers, JCL

As regular readers know, this blog seldom links to other websites… However, there are exceptions.  I am making an exception today because in college and in graduate school, this kind of behavior happened all the time under the guise of “vocational discernment”.  I have seen it happen in Catholic social circles as well as on campuses.  I hope you enjoy this thought provoking post on vocational discernment and its sequel(s).

Should you have experienced something similar, feel free to comment on this blog and automatically enter to win a copy of the Imitation of Mary by Thomas a Kempis.  Winner will be chosen on Easter Saturday.

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Some Americans have interesting theories about the part of the consecrated virgin’s vocation which is dedication to the service of the Church. In my work as a vocations promoter in my diocese, I frequently encounter people who value religious and other consecrated people (such as consecrated virgins) by the “cheap labor” value they provide. This is because America is deeply influenced by the Calvinistic work ethic in which a person’s worth and identity has been tied to his value as a productive worker. Others identify “service to the Church” as the erroneous notion of consecrated virgins being obliged insofar as possible to be working directly for the (arch)diocese or parish or religious community since it can be labeled “Catholic”. Both views are incorrect. Can my astute readers identify why, before I publish the reasons in my upcoming book on vocations? Simply register and comment!

by Therese Ivers, JCL

This book is a collection of 5 essays and a conclusion by different religious sisters who reflect on their vocation as women religious. It was written under the auspices of the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious. As this is a collection of essays, I will briefly comment on each essay. Meanwhile, the book begins with discussing how religious life (particularly for active religious) for women began.

1. Religious Consecration- A Particular Form of Consecrated Life

This two-authored essay discusses things such as the meaning of the word “consecration”, the deepening of baptism through consecrated life and the origins of consecrated life. Also tackled are some distinctive characteristics of consecrated religious life such as its public witness, public vows, separation from the world, and community life. As this essay is in the Preview area of Amazon.com’s website (click on the link above to read this essay for free; if you like it and buy it, I do get a slight commission), I will not comment much upon this portion of the book except to note a couple of things which should be clarified.

In the section entitled Building Upon Baptism: Consecrated Life, pages 19 & 20, the authors could have done better in how they depicted other vocations in Consecrated Life. What they said is in black (I crossed out some of their actual words) and my comments are in blue:

For consecrated life may be lived in the lay state as an individual or within a secular institute, or as a vowed religious (this is true only when you look at the Church as a hierarchy; when looked at it in terms of states of life, the consecrated state is different than the lay state). In the (consecrated not) lay state, a call to consecration is expressed by the life of a virgin (dedicates) consecrates her virginity as a self-gift to God through the profession of a vow of virginity received by a bishop (and becomes a consecrated virgin by receiving the Solemn Consecration of Virgins conferred upon her by her Bishop), by a hermit dedicated to prayer in radical solitude, or by a lay man or woman (this is correct as non ordained members of secular institutes remain lay) who profeses promises in a secular institute and remains in the world as a hidden leaven through a discreet witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Consecrated life is also lived by those called to public vows and public witness to Christ and to the Church according to a specific charism in religious life characterized by separation from the world (proper to the institute) and a stable, form of life lived in common with one’s brothers or sisters… (Public witness is also proper to the Diocesan (Canon 603) Hermit and the Consecrated Virgin who is “constituted a sacred person” who are also in the consecrated state. )

2. The Spousal Bond

Sr. Paula Jean Miller, FSE, begins this essay with a question about whether the spousal bond of religious consecration which arises through profession of the vows is poetical, merely symbolic, analogous, or metaphorical. Unfortunately, she blurs the distinction between the vowed religious and the consecrated virgin by citing the Rite of Consecration of Virgins to back up her statement that “The Catholic tradition continues to maintain that the spousal bond at the heart of consecrated life is a living sign of this marital covenant between Christ the Bridegroom and his bride the Church.” The following three passages she quotes from the Ritual of a Consecration to a Life of Virginity are the heart of her argument for believing religious women are truly spouses of Christ. This is unacceptable because properly speaking, consecrated virginity is different in essence than religious vowed life. Consecrated virginity is spousal in essence and religious life is not. Perhaps Sister should have looked at the Rite for Religious Profession for Women which puts things into perspective for religious women as it has its emphasis on service and the evangelical counsels and only briefly references a spousal bond.

Again, in the section entitled Spousal Virginity Within Church Tradition, Sr. Miller once more fails to make necessary distinctions. Coming from a form of consecrated life in which the term “consecrated virginity” is currently understood in a broad, loose sense (because physical virginity is no longer required of religious women), she applies this to her description of virginity: “Virginity, as a consecration of body and soul to God, has been esteemed and reverenced since the earliest days of the Church…”. This description is missing one essential element, namely, that of genuine virginity on the part of the female virgin, which factual condition was presumed in most of the writings of the Fathers of the Church. The author’s theme of virginity carries on into a description of what she calls a double consecration: consecration and vows. The reader should understand her use of the word “virgin” to mean “chaste woman” and “virginity” to mean “chastity” because this “double consecration” only applies to vowed (religious, eremitic, or secular institute) life, not to the espousals of consecrated virginity.

The section on the development of the spousal identity of religious life is likewise lacking in clarity. In addition to mistakenly equating consecrated virginity to religious vowed life, the author throws into the mixture the traditional stages of the spiritual life in people which includes the “mystical betrothal” and “mystical marriage” stages. The mystical union of the spiritual life is not the same thing as a the spousal bond she is trying to describe of religious life, but is open to all Christians. In the remaining portions of her essay, the author continues her theme of vowed communal life and quotes from various Church documents on the value of the religious life commitment.

The question I would pose to Sr. Paula is whether she can explain why in addition to the Rite of Profession for Religious Women, certain women (virgin) religious have the privilege of receiving the Solemn Consecration of Virginity from their Bishop if (as she incorrectly assumes) religious profession automatically makes one a bride of Christ. Since she quotes from the Rite of the Consecration to a Life of Virginity, she should have some degree of familiarity with it. That being said, I myself will be discussing this very issue in my upcoming book on convents.

3. The Threefold Response of the Vows

Written by the Dominican, Sr. Mary Dominic Pitts, this reflection on the vows begins with a brief history of religious life, the calling of religious to deepen their baptismal commitment through vows. She then goes on to give a good explanation of the nature of a public vow in the context of the Church. Sister Mary Dominic then goes through each of the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience and gives a commentary on them.

4. Communion in Community

Sr. Mary Prudence Allen, RSM discusses how religious are to model “communion” because of their common life. She tackles what she lables as three errors in religious communal life: living like a democracy (without hierarchy), evolution (religious life changes in essence over time), and process (inability to make permanent vows because the person changes over time). The author touches upon Mary as being a guide for living in communion, the call of the religious to comunal life, the plan of formation of spiritual formation for religious, and other aspects of communal life and witness such as friendship and dialogue.

5. Evangelical Mission

This last essay is about how the religious continue the mission of Christ through the apostolate. Sr. M. Maximilia Um, FSGM, touches on how one can be said to “participate” in the mission of Christ, and makes many observations about the nature of mission. The mission of Christ, the Church, and the religious are covered briefly in this section of the book.

The conclusion of the book was co-authored by two sisters. In one section, the sisters try to understand the difference between religious consecration and the consecration of a member of a secular institute. They then delve into why the Council for Major Superiors of Women Religious (CMSWR)was founded.

For those serious in obtaining a greater understanding of the position of those communities aligned with the CMSWR and for their perspectives on the respective topics, I would recommend this book. I think it is best suited for those who are themselves religious and/or are grounded in the theology and law of consecrated life. Should you wish to order this book, you are welcome to order through this site and support our work by clicking below:

(c) 2010 by Therese Ivers, JCL
All Rights Reserved
www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

Table of contents for Consecrated Virgins

1. Consecrated Virgins Part I
2. Consecrated Virgins Part II
3. Consecration Vs. Vow

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Jane is a Catholic.  She marries Mark in the Church.  Later, they divorce.  Jane falls in love with David.  Jane wants to have children desperately and she is getting close to the age of riskier pregnancies.  Because she does not have a declaration of nullity from the Church (annulment), Jane decides to get married to David before the Justice of the Peace and worry about getting her marriage blessed in the Church later.  Jane and David have a miscarriage and then a daughter.  The sorrow and excitement distracted Jane from working on the annulment paperwork, but she finally got around to getting all the information put together and sent it to her parish priest.  After a year and a half, Jane learns that she received the annulment and can get married in the Church.  The way Jane sees it, she can now have God’s blessing called upon her wonderful marriage between her and David and she can now go back to Holy Communion.  She believes that the convalidation (wedding) ceremony in the Church is just a fancy way of having God recognize her marriage and bless it.

Unfortunately, Jane, like many other people in her situation, is quite mistaken in the matter.  She does not have a true marriage with David for God to bless in the convalidation ceremony.  Instead, she and David are coming before God to get married for the first time, she will change from a single woman and become a married woman, becoming two in one flesh.  Even though Jane was legally married to David, walking down the aisle with David to the altar, she was still single in the eyes of God (the annulment is a declaration that even though she thought she was married to Mark, she was still a single person).  When she came before the priest/deacon and exchanged her vows with David in the Church, she finally got married.  This is why God does not “bless” her supposedly already existing marriage.  There was no marriage to bless- it was being created!  Now the couple in the eyes of God are joined by a permanent bond which “no man shall sunder”.  Afterwards, the nuptial blessing can be given upon David and Jane.

Now, we have a similar situation for people who think that the ceremony of the Solemn Consecration of a Virgin Living in the World is a “blessing ceremony” upon the woman who is privately vowed to God.  In this erroneous view, God solidifies a virgin’s vow to perpetual virginity and blesses her already existing dedication/consecration to God within the ceremony.  The Bishop merely confirms her already existing espousals with Christ. The author of THIS article online assumes that it is the consecrated virgin who espouses herself to the Son of God by means of a private vow and then the consecration ceremony confirms and blesses this spiritual nuptials.  He writes that the consecration ceremony is an event in which “the virgin’s bond is confirmed and elevated by the church’s acceptance of it”.  This is false!  It is derived from the religious life paradigm of people who do make vows.

A virgin does present herself before the Bishop.  She may or may not be under a private vow of virginity.  This private vow does not make her a consecrated virgin bride of Christ any more than an engagement makes a couple married.  Yes, a private vow is a pledge of one’s celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom, but a male can make the same pledge of virginity.  If we were to have hold that a vow of chastity/virginity is what makes the consecrated virgin and that it is merely elevated and blessed by the Church in the Consecration ceremony, then males should be able to receive the consecration.  Yet, it is precisely because it is directly spousal that a man ontologically cannot be a consecrated virgin since he is male.

As mentioned before on this website, it is the consecration prayer that the bishop recites that creates consecrated virgin’s unique and directly spousal bond with Christ!  Unlike the vowed celibate in general, who can be male or female, consecrated virgins are female and this is part and parcel of “consecrated virginity”.  The ceremony does not recognize or bless her supposed already existing but lesser form of  “marriage” with Christ as a consecrated virgin because until the consecration prayer, that distinct and substantially different spousal bond did not exist.  That special charism and outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon the virgin creating her a bride of Christ specifically as a consecrated virgin occurs in the Consecration Prayer.  Until then, she is a lady, dedicated to serving the Lord in virginity (if she has retained her primary virginity) but she does not have that distinct charismatic spousal bond.  Although the author makes some excellent points in his article, he fails to mention that primary virginity is required to be a “consecrated virgin” in the strict sense (not in the loose sense of being a celibate religious or lay woman with a private vow of virginity).

(c) 2010 by Therese Ivers, JCL

I am curious to know how many people will actually hear about praying for vocations at Sunday Mass, and whether this will be confined to the usual prayer for “priests and religious”. If your priest/deacon is on the ball and can name other vocations besides that to the priesthood and religious life, this would be a time to celebrate, and then pray hard for increased vocations entered by public vows, holy orders, or consecration. Please take a moment and share with the rest of us via the poll on the left side what you hear on Sunday regarding vocations.

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Now and then a man discerning the priesthood will wonder if the old rules about legitimacy apply if he’s considering the priesthood. Sometimes even diocesan websites state that the Catholic marriage certificate of the candidate’s parents must be submitted with the application. The reality is that prior to 1983, illegitimacy was an impediment to the priesthood and receiving Holy Orders. With the promulgation of the 1983 Code of Canon Law, this is no longer the case. Since illegitimacy does not pose an impediment to Holy Orders, a man is not required by universal law to submit his parent’s marriage certificate to a diocese, and he might do well to point this out to the diocesan vocations director in a charitable fashion. Further, if a person’s application is rejected solely on account of his being born illegitimately, he should speak to a canon lawyer.

(c) 2010 by Therese Ivers, JCL
www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

I recently created a quiz for my diocese’s vocations website…  and the highest score thus far has been 64% correct. Can you beat this score? The first 10 people to get above 90% correct (put in your full name in the quiz) and post a comment in the forum section of this website will receive a very special prize in the mail. Winners will be contacted and asked for their mailing address via the forum. Here’s the link to the 13 question quiz. Oh, by the way, some questions have more than one correct answer- you need to click on all the ones that are right.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Q.  Why don’t you do a lot of articles on specific religious communities, seminaries, and other institutions?
A.  Other vocations websites give plenty of coverage to popular communities, seminaries, and to lesser known ones as well.  This website is designed to give you tools for discernment so that you carefully learn who you are, what God wants you to be, and how to evaluate potential institutions.  Also, just as with potential human spouses, each institution has its strengths and weaknesses.  What can be tolerated by one person might be a deal breaker for another.  Recommendations should come preferrably from an experienced person, such as a spiritual director who is familiar with the different vocations and areas to explore.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com