» single life

St. Teresa of the Andes & Chapel Rats

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:52:32 +0000

by Therese Ivers, JCL

One day, as I was helping out a friend in the sacristy, she mentioned something about “the chapel rats”. My friend was not referring to rats scurrying about – for as far as I know, there were none in the building. Rather, she was talking about those who spend practically all their time in the chapel, every day, in the mistaken notion that it is more holy to spend one’s life in the chapel or one one’s knees rather than to lead a balanced lifestyle. This tends to be a common error in those discerning their vocations.

People who are single who are discerning their vocations should pray, yes. Prayer is very good thing. But to spend 4, 5 hours a day in the church, working at a job, and then spending another hour or two on spiritual reading and research on communities or charisms each day is usually unwise. Why? Because the laity have a special mission in the world. They should participate in a prudent manner in the civic, social, family, and spiritual spheres. Volunteering, political activism (even just folding envelopes), building family and social ties, getting enough exercise, healthy meals, etc. are proper activities for those who are free from community or spousal ties. These should all have a slot on a single person’s calendar.

The role of the laity is to be beacons of light in the world. Lay persons, especially singles, whether they are minors or whether they are working adults, should live out their state in life according to their circumstances. In certain areas, it may be too dangerous for a young, single woman to minister directly to the homeless. But surely she can help someone learn to read or volunteer for a day to bring meals to a family in need or do some work of corporal or spiritual work of charity. A man might consider helping out single mothers with repairs around the house (observing all proprieties) or doing a spiritual or corporal work of mercy on a regular basis or as they are called for.

The single person should not forget that he/she is a human being. Having appropriate hobbies, growing in knowledge, interacting with other people and families, participating in cultural enrichment activities, etc. is an integral part of developing one’s humanity. Of course, a person might object, “I’m discerning a vocation! I’m in a different situation than other singles. I need to be holy and learn what God is calling me to. It’s a waste of time to be normal and participate in all these ‘worldly’ activities!”

Again, it is extremely important that the single person pray, do a daily examination of conscience, go to Mass frequently, etc. However, the Church reminds us that the laity have a mission in the world. If you don’t know where you are being called whether by vow, ordination, or consecration, the holy thing and proper thing to do is to live your state in life well and fully. Even if you know you’re being called to the ordained life or consecrated life or marriage, for now you are still single and lay!

Is it too “worldly” to be active in politics, volunteerism, etc.? Will it make a person less “holy”? Will it distract me from God? The answer to this question is that if these activities are done well, prudently, and in accordance with one’s path as discerned in the concrete circumstances of life, they should help the person to grow in holiness, their humanity, and happiness.

To my mind, St. Teresa of the Andes is a perfect “modern” example of how holiness can be found in every day life. Most of St. Teresa’s life was lived as a lay person. She was great at sports, loved airplanes, went horseback riding, went to the opera, played the piano, took care of a poor orphan, lived a social life… and yet, she was extremely holy! It was only the last 11 months of her life that she became a nun. She agonized over her discernment – like so many people do today. She didn’t know which order she was called to. But, while she was discerning and growing up, she lived a normal lifestyle for the people in her family situation. Yes, she prayed, prayed intensely, but she also partied. She was a lay woman, and she was very holy.

It is because I think St. Teresa of the Andes is an attractive, easy to relate to saint, that I spent quite a bit of time contacting people in Chile, EWTN, and other places to see how the TV series on her life could be republished on VHS or DVD a couple years ago. This series is one of my favorite movies because it shows how a person can be normal and holy and that a holy person is surrounded by the same problems everyone else is. To my great delight, I just discovered that Ignatius Press has released the series in DVD format. If you wish to help support the work of this website, you can order this set below by clicking on the picture:

Is There A Vocation To The Single Life?

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 10:05:05 +0000

by Therese Ivers

We know that God has given each and every one of us a personal vocation, a unique path in this world. For many, the view that the “only” vocations in the Church are to marriage, the consecrated life, and to the priesthood is disturbing. After all, there are plenty of persons out there who are not called to any of these three major vocations. The question then becomes whether God calls people specifically to the single life.

Before considering the question of the so-called “single state”, it would be good to review our primary vocation in life. As the baptized, we are called to holiness in life. We are adopted sons and daughters of God through Jesus Christ.

When we are baptized, we become part of the Church. In fact, the state into which we are baptized is that of the “lay faithful”. In other words, we are baptized into the lay state which has as its particular vocation holiness in the world. Members of the lay state are single people and married people. Both have an obligation to follow Christ and to witness to Him in the every day world they live in.

The Church recognizes two other states besides the lay state. One is the clerical state. Certain men, called by God, are ordained with the sacrament of holy orders and they are deacons, priests, and bishops. The other state is the consecrated state in which there are four ways in which a person may be called to this state. These four are the religious life, the diocesan hermit life, the consecrated virgin life, and life as a member of a secular institute.

The priesthood, consecrated state, and holy marriage share one thing in common. They are specific ways of life that God can call a baptized individual to join because living in them would help him or her get to heaven more easily. Another way of looking at these three callings is to see that over and above the common call of baptism, they require a lifelong commitment or vow and are sealed by a sacrament or sacramental.

Many consider the single life a vocation to which one may be called. After all, God does not seem to call all people to the priesthood, consecrated life, or marriage. Take for instance a person with a severe disability which would make it impossible for him to become a priest or marry or flourish in community or in a hermitage. Are we to consider him “just” a lay person? Shouldn’t we say that some people are called by God specifically to the single state?

When looking at it from the Church’s legal point of view, it is safe to say that the Church does not recognize a “single state”. Loosely speaking, a vocation can refer to many things. Our primary and most important vocation is holiness. Our secondary vocation is the state in life to which God calls us. And in the Church there are three states as noted before. An even more broad understanding of the word vocation can include other traditional vocations or jobs, but these, strictly speaking, concern what a person does rather than who a person is and his relationship with others.

One interesting and important thing to notice is that the person called to marriage, the clergy, or to the consecrated life, not only legally changes his state in the Church but his formal relationships also change. From a single person, the married person becomes two-in-one-flesh with another person. A single (or married individual) becomes another Christ, who imitates Christ by mirroring his relationship of Bridegroom to the Church by becoming a cleric when acting in persona Christi. A person in the consecrated life either is a disciple of Christ (male) or becomes the bride of Christ (female). There is a true transformation on the ontological level on one who has followed the call to one of these vocations.

Since all the baptized begin as single, lay Catholics, it does not make sense to say that this merits the title of its own state because it does not require a personal and permanent commitment to an additional relationship over and above that of an adopted son or daughter of God. It is, however, important that all lay Catholics, whether married or single, use their time and energy well on this earth so as to spread the kingdom of God.

The married have as their primary duty the raising and education of their children. The single lay Catholics, should dedicate themselves to the service of God and their country as appropriate for those in their circumstances.