by Therese Ivers, JCL

Way back in September, I was asked to help with an upcoming retreat for women discerning their vocations and who feel like they’re beating their heads on the wall “discerning to death”.  This topic really resonated with me, and as I continue to prepare for this weekend’s retreat, I am seeing more and more how although there is plenty of literature giving pieces of information about the discernment process, there is hardly anything out there that talks about how to bring it to a peaceful conclusion.  The goal of discernment is to figure out God’s will in one’s life, most particularly whether God is calling one to assume a lifelong commitment by virtue of ordination, vow, or consecration.  In theory figuring out one’s vocation sounds pretty straightforward, but plenty of folks agonize over it, and some have never reached a practical conclusion as to whether there is a state in life they should pursue.  How exactly does a person go from the beginning to the middle and then reach the end of vocational discernment?

Vocations and the Fairy Tale

Good fairy tales touch upon the deep desires of human beings.  Some are about wealth as the reward of virtue and valor, a concept that even Our Lord uses in speaking about the reward of eternal life.  Others talk about longevity and an absence from the ordinary woes of life (think immortality and the properties of risen bodies).  The majority, however, are about romantic love in which after trial, the princess and the prince happily live together ever after.  Again, this reflects the eternal betrothal between Christ and His Church…

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I am judging marriage annulment cases and we get someone under oath testifying that they thought that once they got married, everything would turn out great (despite the fact their spouse was abusively beating them daily during their courtship, they were both high on drugs most of the time, that they had two or three children before they decided to get officially hitched…) simply and solely because getting married in the Church was somehow going to magically make things different!  It gets worse when they blame people in the Church for their failed marriage (why didn’t the priest stop us?)!  How is it that the fairy tale of living happily ever after gets drummed into people’s minds when it comes to vocational choices?  I will be forever happy if I marry that person…  I will automatically be holy if I become a priest…  As soon as I slip on that habit or religious life emblem, I’m gonna be floating around in prayer…  It seems to me that good discernment starts with understanding that fairy tales are just that.  Fairy tales.

The process of discerning a vocation starts with the realization that the process usually takes knowledge, dedication, and work.  Knowledge is necessary to make informed choices.  How much do you as a discerner know about the vocations open to you in the Church?  It takes dedication to following the will of God.  It also takes effort, or work.

One can say that the time of courtship, discernment for the seminary, convent, or other form of consecrated life, is normally a time of mutual discovery.  It takes work, both on the part of the person making the decision to pursue a particular path or narrow it down to a path, and of the person(s) who admit that person into vows (think marriage, religious life, diocesan hermit life, and secular institutes), consecration (consecrated virgins) and ordination (diaconate, priesthood, and episcopacy).  One who is discerning should work not only at improving knowledge about vocations, but self-knowledge so that obstacles and fears may be evaluated and addressed.

The Goal

The final goal of vocational discernment is to make vows, be consecrated or be ordained if this should be the Lord’s will.  Yet, the immediate goal of the discerner should be to do what it takes to determine which path (if any) to which one seems to have a genuine call and make a decision to pursue it in a prudent fashion. That way, one can peacefully but purposefully pursue a possible call and offer oneself to a concrete person, diocese, order, or institute if one prudently and prayerfully determines they could be a fit.  Of course a person should be “open” in that the other person, diocese, order, or institute may determine that it is not their vocation to be united with you in their particular path to holiness.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL and www.DoIHaveAVocation.com.  All rights reserved.

The first secular institute with whom I came in contact were the Father Kolbe Missionaries. Not many people respond to a call to a vocation to a secular institute and in part, I believe it is because few people even know about their existence.

What is a secular institute? A secular institute is an organization which helps the faithful strive to mirror Christ more faithfully in their daily lives by following the evangelical counsels. Priests and laity may join a secular institute and it is a good vocation. However, the public consecration of vows or promises does not change the canonical status of the individual. Thus, those of the laity who profess the evangelical counsels in the form of vows do not enter the consecrated state but remain in the world and in the lay state in the Church.

Each secular institute has a different charism. The Father Kolbe Missionaries, the secular institute I am most familiar with, has a Marian charism. Their apostolate is to promote devotion to Our Lady as a way of assisting people to grow in holiness of life. Other secular institutes will have different apostolates and charisms.

Religious institutes emphasize communal life. Secular institutes, on the other hand, are usually composed of members who live separately. While some consecrated members might live in small groups as brothers or sisters, the vast majority of members live on their own. They support themselves and contribute to their secular institute. The idea is that a member of a secular institute is to live as leaven in the world. They are to be a good example to others in the daily routine of normal living.

It is because the members of secular institutes are not within the consecrated state but are dedicated to Christ’s service in either the priesthood or lay state that they do not wear a habit or uniform. The members blend in society and bear witness to Christ.

Members of secular institutes profess vows or sacred bonds of poverty, chastity, and obedience. These vows are understood according to the rules of the institute. Poverty is not a renunciation of ownership of goods. Chastity means celibacy for the sake of the kingdom. And obedience will be defined in the rules.

A few months ago, I discussed the three elements of religious life. The elements of a secular institute, are different in that they seem to be that of the evangelical counsels, life as leaven in the world, and the apostolate. It is to follow Christ more thoroughly in the world “secular manner” that people choose to embrace the evangelical counsels in the context of a non-religious institute lifestyle.

(c) 2008 by Therese Ivers and www.doihaveavocation.com

All Rights Reserved

Table of contents for College Education

1. College Education Part I- Should Cloistered Nuns Have A College Education?
2. College Education Part II- Choosing A College When Discerning

by Therese Ivers

Frances was a very bright AP high school student. During her senior year, Frances discovered the Lord and felt a very strong call to live her life in the cloister. After looking around at various convents, she felt very attracted to a community in a close by city. After a lot of thought and prayer, Frances decided to enter soon after she would graduate.

When the relatives and friends heard that Frances wanted to enter the cloister, they were very happy for her. One day, though, Frances went to speak to a priest friend of her family. He suggested that she seriously consider going to college before entering the cloister. Frances did not want to go to college before becoming a nun, but she promised to do some research on the matter and make a novena to help her in her discernment.

In the middle of her novena, Frances got a call from a friend she really respected. This person urged her to join the convent immediately and not “lose” her calling by going to college. Her friend pointed out that even if she went to college, she would probably be burdened with student loans that could take a while to pay back. Since the convent did not require a college degree and was cloistered, there was no reason why Frances should even consider going to college.

Does this scenario of conflicting advice about college education sound familiar? One of the biggest decisions the younger discerner faces is whether to go to – or to continue attending – college. While this article will specifically cover many of the pros and cons of attending college for women interested in becoming a cloistered nun, what is said here can be applicable in many ways to others discerning their vocations to consecrated life.

(c) 2008 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com. All Rights Reserved

God bless!

A sample clip is also available below for you to listen to in order to get an idea of what the interview was like.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com.

All Rights Reserved

The evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience were given by Christ to help people imitate Him more closely. While we are all called to practice these counsels according to our state in life, religious vow poverty, chastity, and obedience according to the charism of their institute. Their rules govern how these vows are concretely lived out in the day to day life of a religious.

While religious don’t separate themselves from the world to the extent of establishing a convent in space, they do withdraw from certain activities and things which hinder their call to leave things behind for the sake of following Christ more easily. For example, you will probably not see religious who as a community get season tickets for the football games in their area. They may individually attend some football games, but as a whole you should not see them make extravagant purchases or indulge in activities proper to those who are not separated from worldly things.

Common life is another characteristic of religious life. Religious should be in community. How this common life is lived out practically speaking is spelled out in their rules. By living together in community, religious are able to help support each other in their common goal of holiness in their way of life, of prayer and intercession for the people of God. Common life can be both a very large blessing and a source of friction and penance as individuals have their own personalities.

Should you be discerning a call to the religious form of consecrated life, you might want to pay attention to how these three elements are lived out in the community your are considering.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com