One day, as I was helping out a friend in the sacristy, she mentioned something about “the chapel rats”.  My friend was not referring to rats scurrying about – for as far as I know, there were none in the building.  Rather, she was talking about those who spend practically all their time in the chapel, every day, in the mistaken notion that it is more holy to spend one’s life in the chapel or one one’s knees rather than to lead a balanced lifestyle.  This tends to be a common error in those discerning their vocations.

People who are single who are discerning their vocations should pray, yes.  Prayer is  very good thing.  But to spend 4, 5 hours a day in the church, working at a job, and then spending another hour or two on spiritual reading and research on communities or charisms each day is usually unwise.  Why?  Because the laity have a special mission in the world.  They should participate in a prudent manner in the civic, social, family, and spiritual spheres.  Volunteering, political activism (even just folding envelopes), building family and social ties, getting enough exercise, healthy meals, etc. are proper activities for those who are free from community or spousal ties. These should all have a slot on a single person’s calendar.

The role of the laity is to be beacons of light in the world.  Lay persons, especially singles, whether they are minors or whether they are working adults, should live out their state in life according to their circumstances.  In certain areas, it may be too dangerous for a young, single woman to minister directly to the homeless.  But surely she can help someone learn to read or volunteer for a day to bring meals to a family in need or do some work of corporal or spiritual work of charity.  A man might consider helping out single mothers with repairs around the house (observing all proprieties) or doing a spiritual or corporal work of mercy on a regular basis or as they are called for.

The single person should not forget that he/she is a human being.  Having appropriate hobbies, growing in knowledge, interacting with other people and families, participating in cultural enrichment activities, etc. is an integral part of developing one’s humanity.   Of course, a person might object, “I’m discerning a vocation!  I’m in a different situation than other singles.  I need to be holy and learn what God is calling me to.  It’s a waste of time to be normal and participate in all these ‘worldly’ activities!”

Again, it is extremely important that the single person pray, do a daily examination of conscience, go to Mass frequently, etc.  However, the Church reminds us that the laity have a mission in the world.  If you don’t know where you are being called whether by vow, ordination, or consecration, the holy thing and proper thing to do is to live your state in life well and fully.  Even if you know you’re being called to the ordained life or consecrated life or marriage, for now you are still single and lay!

Is it too “worldly” to be active in politics, volunteerism, etc.?   Will it make a person less “holy”?  Will it distract me from God?  The answer to this question is that if these activities are done well, prudently, and in accordance with one’s path as discerned in the concrete circumstances of life, they should help the person to grow in holiness, their humanity, and happiness.

To my mind, St. Teresa of the Andes is a perfect “modern” example of how holiness can be found in every day life.  Most of St. Teresa’s life was lived as a lay person.  She was great at sports, loved airplanes, went horseback riding, went to the opera, played the piano, took care of a poor orphan, lived a social life…  and yet, she was extremely holy!  It was only the last 11 months of her life that she became a nun.  She agonized over her discernment – like so many people do today.  She didn’t know which order she was called to.  But, while she was discerning and growing up, she lived a normal lifestyle for the people in her family situation.  Yes, she prayed, prayed intensely, but she also partied.  She was a lay woman, and she was very holy.

It is because I think St. Teresa of the Andes is an attractive, easy to relate to saint, that I spent quite a bit of time contacting people in Chile, EWTN, and other places to see how the TV series on her life could be republished on VHS or DVD a couple years ago.  This series is one of my favorite movies because it shows how a person can be normal and holy and that a holy person is surrounded by the same problems everyone else is.  To my great delight, I just discovered that Ignatius Press has released the series in DVD format. If you wish to help support the work of this website, you can order this set below by clicking on the picture:

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL.

All Rights Reserved.

]]> http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/189/feed 4 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/155 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/155#comments Sun, 24 May 2009 21:37:55 +0000 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/?p=155

By Therese Ivers

One of the most frequent topics people discerning their vocation have several questions about is on vows and promises. As most people enter their vocation by means of a vow or vows, this topic is of great importance.

To begin with, all Catholics by virtue of their baptismal promises, have the obligation of rejecting sin, refusing to be mastered by sin, rejecting satan, and living out the teachings of the Catholic Church. All Catholics by virtue of their baptism, are called to strive for holiness in a manner consistent with their state in life.

Some people, perhaps the majority of people, are called to live out the general call or vocation to holiness by embracing a specific way of life through means of vow/promise, ordination, or consecration. This can be described as following a “call within the call”, or as more commonly called, following a “vocation”. It is this sense of a call to a specific way of life that the word “vocation” will be used in this article.

Vocations Entered by Public Vow(s)

Marriage and religious life are entered by means of public vow(s). In marriage, each of the (baptized) couple are the ministers of the sacrament of matrimony and by exchanging vows, enter a lifelong relationship as spouses and become “two in one flesh”. Religious profess vows to God according to their constitutions/statutes which specify how the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience are to be led. Diocesan hermits have the option of entering their state by vowing the three evangelical counsels by public vow, or they may choose to make public promises.

Vocation Entered by Public Promise(s)

Diocesan hermits have the option of professing public promises rather than public promises. They promise by means of a promise or sacred bond to follow the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience according to their rule of life.

Vocation Entered by Semi-Public Vow(s)/Promises

Members of secular institutes vow or promise the three evangelical counsels by means of semi-public vows.

Vocation Entered by Ordination in Conjunction with Public Promises

During the Rite of Ordination, those entering Orders promise obedience, and some promise celibacy.

Some Common Elements of Public and Semi-Public Vows and Promises:

• Discernment is two-sided. In marriage, it is the other individual who discerns whether to accept marriage vows. It is the Church that discerns through the bishop – or legitimate authority in the different forms of consecrated life or secular institute – whether to accept vows/promises in the name of God and His Church.
• Public/semi-public vows and promises either constitute a person into a formal vocation recognized in the Church, or are an important element of that way of life (such as in holy orders).
• New public obligations and rights are assumed by the person making the vows/promises which flow from the nature of the vocation being entered into.

Private Vows and Promises

What is a private vow or promise? The Catechism of the Catholic Church states the following about vows:

In many circumstances, the Christian is called to make promises to God. Baptism and Confirmation, Matrimony and Holy Orders always entail promises. Out of personal devotion, the Christian may also promise to God this action, that prayer, this alms-giving, that pilgrimage, and so forth. Fidelity to promises made to God is a sign of the respect owed to the divine majesty and of love for a faithful God.

“A vow is a deliberate and free promise made to God concerning a possible and better good which must be fulfilled by reason of the virtue of religion,” A vow is an act of devotion in which the Christian dedicates himself to God or promises him some good work. By fulfilling his vows he renders to God what has been promised and consecrated to Him. The Acts of the Apostles shows us St. Paul concerned to fulfill the vows he had made.

The Church recognizes an exemplary value in the vows to practice the evangelical counsels:

Mother Church rejoices that she has within herself many men and women who pursue the Savior’s self-emptying more closely and show it forth more clearly, by undertaking poverty with the freedom of the children of God, and renouncing their own will: they submit themselves to man for the sake of God, thus going beyond what is of precept in the matter of perfection, so as to conform themselves more fully to the obedient Christ.²⁴

The Church can, in certain cases and for proportionate reasons, dispense from vows and promises^. (CCC #2101-2103)

Private vows may be made to God, then, for a “possible” and “better” good, according to the Catechism. What is “possible” in this context? Possible has several meanings. One is that a person must be free to make the promise/vow. A married person is not free to vow “chastity” (as the vow of celibacy and continence is called) because the right to the procreative powers of his/her body belongs to his/her spouse. One must be the right age to make a binding vow/promise (the minimum/maximum age will differ according to the nature of the vow/promise). The person must have an understanding of what is being promised and have sufficient deliberation.

The “better” good can encompass a lot of things. A person can promise to fast. This is a “better” good only if it is both subjectively and objectively better for the person making the vow. So, objectively, fasting is a good thing. Subjectively, it can be bad or good depending on the person and his/her circumstances. A person with hypoglycemia probably should never do a strict fast or vow one because it is “bad” for their health. The reason the Pharisee’s fasting and almsgiving talked about in the Gospel could be bad is the motivation was for show and human praise rather than the glorification of God.

Now, should a person make private vows or promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience if they do not feel called to life as a religious, member of a secular institute, or diocesan hermit? That is a million dollar question, and for it, there is no pat answer. In discerning whether to assume private vows or promises with such life changing implications, a person should give the matter the serious thought, understanding, and deliberation appropriate for taking such an action. Some things which should be considered are:

• A person should undertake the responsibilities pledged by vow or promise only if they are truly called to do so by God. One of the advantages of pursuing public vow(s)/promise(s) is that the Church herself through the ministry of others (bishop, community, potential spouse) discerns whether a person may be called to a particular way of life. The process of discernment is usually lengthy so that the individual can learn about the rights and responsibilities of the life he/she wishes to enter by vow and so that the bishop, person, or community can determine if they are a good fit. In other words, a lot more formation in the evangelical counsels is available to those who pursue canonically recognized vocations.

By the same token, discerning whether to pursue lifelong commitments made by private vows/promises can be more difficult because there isn’t that in built process of formation and guidance given to people thinking of canonically recognized vocations.

• It is strongly recommended that the insight and advice of a competent spiritual director be sought if one is considering assuming a private vow(s) related to the evangelical counsels. This is to ensure that one is indeed truly called by God to make it(them), that the formula and matter is valid (for example, to vow “joy” is invalid because joy is not something that can be undertaken at will), that the scope of the vow is clearly spelled out and understood, etc.
• Private vows may be dispensed or commuted by the proper authorities, not by oneself.

• While all Christians are called to follow the evangelical counsels in a manner befitting their state in life, not all are called to vow their strict and more radical observance for the sake of the Kingdom. Hence, it is important that it is truly God’s will, not an individual’s inclination, that brings a person to make a vow of chastity. A person should exercise great caution in vowing poverty or obedience, because how they are actually lived out must be understood in accordance with tradition and how they are to be lived should be written out so that boundaries are clearly understood.

• Normally, a person should not make a vow of obedience to their spiritual director. This is because the internal and external forums are distinct and should not be confused, and there is room for grave abuse when the forums are mixed. Nor should an individual ever make a vow of secrecy or silence (not to criticize their superior or keep the details of their spiritual life/practices secret).
• A private vow/promise of chastity involves a person dedicating himself to the Lord.  Thus a  lay person who is under private vow/promise is a “dedicated” lay person.  A person whose vows are public is a member of the “consecrated state”, and thus belongs to the state which in itself is neither lay nor clerical but consecrated.  A person whose vows are semi-public (members of secular institutes make these vows or promises) is a “consecrated” lay person if lay or “consecrated” ordained person if ordained, but is not a member of the consecrated state unless he/she is also a member of a religious institute, a diocesan hermit, or a consecrated virgin.  In other words, “dedicated” is one making one’s vows to God unmediated through the Church.  “Consecrated” is one whose vows are mediated through the Church.

So, if a person, after suitable preparation, formation, testing, discernment, advice, etc. wishes to make a private vow of chastity, then what? Because the decision should not be made lightly, valid formulas will not be listed on this site, but should be sought from a priest, spiritual director, or other expert.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL

All Rights Reserved

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Way back in September, I was asked to help with an upcoming retreat for women discerning their vocations and who feel like they’re beating their heads on the wall “discerning to death”.  This topic really resonated with me, and as I continue to prepare for this weekend’s retreat, I am seeing more and more how although there is plenty of literature giving pieces of information about the discernment process, there is hardly anything out there that talks about how to bring it to a peaceful conclusion.  The goal of discernment is to figure out God’s will in one’s life, most particularly whether God is calling one to assume a lifelong commitment by virtue of ordination, vow, or consecration.  In theory figuring out one’s vocation sounds pretty straightforward, but plenty of folks agonize over it, and some have never reached a practical conclusion as to whether there is a state in life they should pursue.  How exactly does a person go from the beginning to the middle and then reach the end of vocational discernment?

Vocations and the Fairy Tale

Good fairy tales touch upon the deep desires of human beings.  Some are about wealth as the reward of virtue and valor, a concept that even Our Lord uses in speaking about the reward of eternal life.  Others talk about longevity and an absence from the ordinary woes of life (think immortality and the properties of risen bodies).  The majority, however, are about romantic love in which after trial, the princess and the prince happily live together ever after.  Again, this reflects the eternal betrothal between Christ and His Church…

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I am judging marriage annulment cases and we get someone under oath testifying that they thought that once they got married, everything would turn out great (despite the fact their spouse was abusively beating them daily during their courtship, they were both high on drugs most of the time, that they had two or three children before they decided to get officially hitched…) simply and solely because getting married in the Church was somehow going to magically make things different!  It gets worse when they blame people in the Church for their failed marriage (why didn’t the priest stop us?)!  How is it that the fairy tale of living happily ever after gets drummed into people’s minds when it comes to vocational choices?  I will be forever happy if I marry that person…  I will automatically be holy if I become a priest…  As soon as I slip on that habit or religious life emblem, I’m gonna be floating around in prayer…  It seems to me that good discernment starts with understanding that fairy tales are just that.  Fairy tales.

The process of discerning a vocation starts with the realization that the process usually takes knowledge, dedication, and work.  Knowledge is necessary to make informed choices.  How much do you as a discerner know about the vocations open to you in the Church?  It takes dedication to following the will of God.  It also takes effort, or work.

One can say that the time of courtship, discernment for the seminary, convent, or other form of consecrated life, is normally a time of mutual discovery.  It takes work, both on the part of the person making the decision to pursue a particular path or narrow it down to a path, and of the person(s) who admit that person into vows (think marriage, religious life, diocesan hermit life, and secular institutes), consecration (consecrated virgins) and ordination (diaconate, priesthood, and episcopacy).  One who is discerning should work not only at improving knowledge about vocations, but self-knowledge so that obstacles and fears may be evaluated and addressed.

The Goal

The final goal of vocational discernment is to make vows, be consecrated or be ordained if this should be the Lord’s will.  Yet, the immediate goal of the discerner should be to do what it takes to determine which path (if any) to which one seems to have a genuine call and make a decision to pursue it in a prudent fashion. That way, one can peacefully but purposefully pursue a possible call and offer oneself to a concrete person, diocese, order, or institute if one prudently and prayerfully determines they could be a fit.  Of course a person should be “open” in that the other person, diocese, order, or institute may determine that it is not their vocation to be united with you in their particular path to holiness.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL and www.DoIHaveAVocation.com.  All rights reserved.

One of our readers put in a request that we discuss the vocation of religious brothers. As a result, I would like to share a few thoughts on the vocation to religious brotherhood.

“Are we visiting the monkeys?” My brother asked this when he was about three years old. He was not talking about going to the zoo. Rather, he was referring to our practice of occasionally going to visit a local abbey on Sunday. This particular abbey has special significance for me. It was where I made a retreat before making my First Communion. It was also where I met “Brother Beekeeper”.

“Brother Beekeeper” was a monk who kept the abbey beehives. No doubt he did much more around the abbey, but I knew him as a super nice monk who showed us what he did with bees. I was writing an essay on beekeeping when I was about 11 years old, and since my neighborhood lacked bee hives, I went to the abbey because I remembered luscious honeycomb being served there for Sunday brunch they’d serve the abbot’s guests. There, this wonderful monk showed us the hives. We donned beekeeping outfits (much too big for my brother and I!) and we had a hands-on experience with beekeeping. We even extracted honey and learned that propolis (gunk bees glue to the entrance of their hives) was good for cuts. Brother Beekeeper even gave my family some honey we extracted and some of that propolis to take home as a souvenir of our trip.

Yes, monks were great in my books. One of the easiest place to find them is in an abbey. Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed that people become quite possessive of “their” monks when they live in a community blessed with a strong presence of monks. It is quite touching to hear in different parts of the United States about “The Abbey”, which means the local abbey. That goes for some of the more “monastic” brothers/monks.

With respect to more active brothers, I have only occasionally bumped into them in my travels around the U.S. They are scarce, with women religious outnumbering them oftentimes at a ratio greater than 10:1. One of my canon law classmates in Rome was a religious brother. He is a member of the Missionaries of Charity that Bl. Mother Teresa founded. He would come into class in his grey and light blue clothing and he was an asset to our class. My family has ties to some religious brothers in that some of us were educated by religious brothers in academic institutions run by them.

In some respects, I think that many Catholics tend to categorize men’s vocations into the priesthood and married states. There is an attitude that I have frequently encountered that if a man has a vocation, he should become a priest and not a brother. Somehow brothers are seen as “not as good as priests” or “wanna-be-priests” that didn’t make it. This is not the case at all! A brother is one called by God to live in community, taking the three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. His role is that of intercessory prayer before God and of service to His people. Some brothers are more contemplative, and others are more active. This is a lofty vocation which God calls some men to live. This is a particular and important role in our Church. Sadly, many are not aware of this call because if they think of vocation at all, they think in terms of the priesthood or married life.

So, who are religious brothers? Primarily, religious brothers are men who are assiduously devoted to prayer and contemplation. They are disciples of Christ. Their first duty is personal holiness and to give witness to the joy of living for Christ with their prayer and penance. Then, they may devote themselves to an apostolate in the abundance of their prayer life. You will see brothers such as my classmate working with the poorest of the poor. You will find others hard at work in their monasteries plowing fields or doing work to maintain themselves. The common thread in their lives is that they are men dedicated to the hard but sublime task of taking up the yoke of Christ, both for the good of their own souls and that of the rest of us.

]]> http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/110/feed 0 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/82 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/82#comments Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:40:12 +0000 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/82 by Therese Ivers

 For centuries people have been embracing the evangelical counsels and binding themselves to observe them by the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  The most common example we have of persons making these vows are the men and women who make their profession of vows as religious.  These religious make what is known as public vows.   Not all people, however, are called to make public vows, but instead elect to follow the evangelical counsels through private vows.

There is one primary difference between a public vow of poverty, chastity, or obedience and a private vow of poverty, chastity, or obedience.  Public vows are made in a religious profession, profession of a member of a secular institute, or in the hands of the bishop of a diocesan hermit and have the effect of placing the individual in the consecrated state in the Church.  Private vows are made outside of this context of Ecclesiastical acceptance and they do not change the status of the individual making them within the Church.

Concretely, this means that if Mark would like to dedicate his life to Christ but does not feel called to enter religious life, join a secular institute,  become a diocesan hermit, or receive Holy Orders, he may consider whether he is called to make private vows.  Making private vows, especially those of the evangelical counsels, is not something to undertake lightly and ought to be done only after careful consideration, prayer, and consultation with a spiritual director.

One final thought.  Vows can remain private even when made in a Church ceremony.  An example of this can be when a priest receives private vows of an individual during Mass.   The mere fact that a vow is made in front of other people does not make it public in the eyes of the Church.  Members of any group that is not recognized in the Church as a religious or secular institute who make vows in a ceremony or Mass in their community are not to consider themselves in the consecrated state because their vows are essentially private.  Hence to call themselves consecrated men or women is misleading as they are not officially recognized in the Church as belonging to the consecrated state.

Although I meant to discuss this vocation at a later date, I was contacted by certain individuals these past few days asking for further information and so it looks like it’s time to tackle this topic on consecrated virginity now.

Most of us equate “consecrated life” for religious life.  However, there are forms of consecrated life which do not entail life as a religious.  One of them predates religious life and was recently revived as a form of the consecrated state.  It is consecrated virginity, the primary model being the Blessed Virgin Mary.

What is a consecrated virgin?  Strictly speaking, a consecrated virgin is a female virgin who has received the consecration of virgins from the hands of her local bishop.  “Similar to these forms of consecrated life is the order of virgins who, expressing the holy resolution of following Christ more closely, are consecrated to God by the diocesan bishop according to the approved liturgical rite, are mystically betrothed to Christ, the Son of God, and are dedicated to the service of the Church.”

The consecration may be given to religious and to those virgins living in the world.  The Benedictines have the custom of allowing their virgin nuns to receive the consecration after some time elapses after their perpetual vows.  The virgins living in the world live out their vocation under the direction of their diocesan bishop.  They do not take public vows of poverty, chastity, or obedience, for the essence of their vocation is to be a bride of Christ as a perpetual virgin.

Just as a side note, once in a while I’ll bump into someone in Rome who talks about their consecrated virgin friends.  These “consecrated virgins” usually are pious ladies who have made private vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, or even a vow of virginity.  As they have not received the consecration of virgins at the hands of their bishop, they are not consecrated virgins strictly speaking, nor are they in the consecrated state.  Hence it would be better if they did not refer to themselves as consecrated virgins and if they would encourage their friends to refrain from doing so as well.

A consecrated virgin is a bride of Christ.  She becomes a “sacred person” and a sign of the next life by her spiritual betrothal to Christ.  Her consecration is the bond which unites her to her Spouse and cannot be dissolved by any human power because her body and soul have been given over to Christ in perpetual virginity.

To be a consecrated virgin, one must be a female virgin (one who has not lost virginity through voluntary intercourse with a male) who has never married.  She must be mature and capable of living out a life of prayer and penance.  Of course, she must resolve on maintaining a life of perpetual virginity and only those who give proof of being able to do so can be admitted to the consecration.

In addition to the inquiries I received on the vocation of consecrated virginity, I also received a special communication from the American association of consecrated virgins that I would like to share with you here:
February 21, 2008, Commemoration of St. Peter Damian, Bishop and Doctor

Dear friends of consecrated virgins,

I come today with a special appeal, asking if you might consider helping a consecrated virgin from an economically distressed country attend the Rome 2008 International Congress-Pilgrimage for consecrated virgins in May.   The gathering has been convoked by the Congregation for Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life, with a letter sent by Cardinal Rodé, Prefect, to Bishop-presidents of Episcopal conferences throughout the world.

This is sure to be an historic occasion for consecrated virgins, as we gather internationally for the second time in history, and are delighted to have the opportunity to be received in audience by Pope Benedict XVI.  It will be a time of serious study of the vocation of consecrated virginity, a time of prayer in the major Basilicas of Rome, and a time of meeting and enjoying new friends from throughout the world.

We anticipate attendance by about 430 consecrated virgins from 40 different countries, and translations will be made available in English, French, German, Italian, and Spanish.  Due to the nature of our individually lived vocation, all the expenses of travel, meals, housing, translation, etc. must be covered by registration fees charged to each participant.  The cost is high, even for those in more developed nations.  Due to the generous donations of consecrated virgins in this country, we have been able to offer needed assistance to anyone traveling from the United States.

At this time, the international planning team is aware of 31consecrated virgins – 3 from India, 5 from Poland, 5 from the Ukraine, 9 from the Czech Republic and Slovakia, 1 from Hungary, 2 from Algeria, 3 from Mexico, 3 from Costa Rica – who are in need of financial assistance.  And we anticipate that there are others from Africa.  Minimally, each of these virgins needs 220 Euro to cover meals for the six day stay so that they may dine with the group and enjoy this important time for relationships.  In order to also be housed with the group, the needed assistance would be closer to 500 Euro per person.  With an exchange rate nearing 1.5, this translates to a need of $325 to $740 per person.

If you or your diocese is able to assist with this need, you may make your tax-deductible contribution payable to USACV, 300 West Ottawa St., Lansing, MI 48933, indicating “Rome 2008 sponsorship.” Your sisters from around the world thank you in advance for your continued generosity in support of the renewal of the vocation of consecrated virginity lived in the world.

Judith Stegman, president

United States Association of Consecrated Virgins

If you can do so, I’d appreciate it if you would help these virgins from poorer countries to attend this congress in Rome by sending the association a donation to help cover their expenses.  It is a lifetime event and I’m sure they would gratefully remember you in their powerful prayers.  As for myself, I will be hosting a fundraising event in order to help them get the needed funds to bring at least one consecrated virgin here to Rome.

(c) 2008 by Therese Ivers

All Rights Reserved

1^st Mistake – Choosing A Director With A Strong Bias Towards A Particular Way Of Life Or Spirituality

When Susie approaches her spiritual director who happens to be a Sister, she has the right to expect that this Sister will help her discern her vocation without pressuring Susie to join her religious institute. The primary purpose of a spiritual director is to help an individual to recognize and respond to the guidance of the Holy Spirit whether or not it benefits the spiritual director and his/her own institute directly. It would be nice to say that all spiritual directors and those giving advice on spiritual matters recognized and followed this principle of being fair, balanced, and not acting on a pre-set agenda, but this is not the case.

It is a well known fact that many discerners feel a certain amount of pressure to follow in the footsteps of their mentors. If Susie is talking to a Penitention Sister, then the pressure would normally be for her to join the Penitention. Or if Susie is corresponding with a cloistered Sister, then it is natural for most cloistered Sisters to invite her – perhaps strongly – to consider joining the cloister. While some consideration of the mentor’s institute is probably in order, there shouldn’t be an excessive amount of pressure to do so.

The best thing for Susie to do is to choose someone who will give her unbiased advice for her vocation journey. She can choose to have her director from a particular religious institute, but she should be aware of the danger of being persuaded or influenced to join that institute regardless of whether it is her true calling or not. Of course, not all religious, priests, or consecrated persons will give blatantly biased suggestions to follow their particular form of life, but it is a danger of which one should be aware.

2^nd Mistake – Not Selecting A Suitable Guide As One’s Spiritual Director

Each person is gifted with different talents and abilities. Today we have the problem that very few people are equipped to be a solid spiritual director. This has been an age old problem, and one that probably will continue into the foreseeable future. Why is this?

Well, there are a lot of things a good spiritual director will know that the general population, including most priests, do not know, because spiritual direction goes beyond confessional material. In addition, the personal holiness of the spiritual director can greatly affect the general course of the direction given.

The question of how to discern a good spiritual director is important because one’s immortal soul is at stake. One of the old maxims is that just as the father is to the son, so is the spiritual director to the directee. If the spiritual director is not competent, then one’s soul or at least one’s progress in the way of Divine love can be greatly harmed.

While there is plenty of advice for people to get spiritual directors when discerning a vocation, there is little out there of practical value to show what to look for in a spiritual director. The best book in my opinion on how to get a good spiritual director is written by a Marist, Fr. Thomas Dubay called Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within. I consider this book to be very useful for finding and evaluating spiritual directors and one of the few indispensable items in a Catholic bookshelf.

3^rd Mistake – Letting The Spiritual Director Make All The Decisions

A spiritual director’s role is assist a person in discerning the will of God. Usually the spiritual director’s advice should be followed although there is a time and a place for raising possible objections to some advice that is offered. When it comes to discerning a vocation, or even making other decisions, it can be tempting for a person to just leave it up to a spiritual director to make the final decision. Such a practice, however, can be gravely injurious to the welfare of the discerner and is unfair to the director.

Generally speaking, only a mature person should attempt to discern his vocation. If a person is mature (age is only a slight factor in the degree of maturity in today’s world), God expects such a person to take personal responsibility for his actions. This includes deciding what path in life to take after careful consideration and prayer.

A spiritual director should be able to help point out what God may be calling the directee to, but since the spiritual director is not the directee, the spiritual director has no way of knowing the inmost heart of the directee. This is why any vocational advice should be seen in the light of advice and not in the light of it being totally God’s will simply because it comes from the lips of the director.

4^th Mistake – Choosing A Spiritual Director With A Faulty Understanding Of Vocations

Today if you wanted to become a diocesan hermit there would be very few individuals who understand the vocation sufficiently to be of assistance in your discernment process. In fact, the eremitic vocation is so rare that it is misunderstood by many people, including a large number of spiritual directors. If you are discerning your vocation, it is important that your spiritual director have a proper understanding of the vocations open to you and be able to give you wise counsel regarding them.

Since a vocational choice is often a life long choice, it is extremely important that both you and your spiritual director have an understanding of your vocational options in the Church. This understanding needs to be aligned with the Church’s teaching, especially when connect to issues such as the doctrine concerning the impossibility of women’s ordinations, etc.

5^th Mistake – A Lack Of Honesty And Transparency With One’s Spiritual Director

When discussing your vocational discernment with a spiritual director, a particularly critical aspect of your conversation is a fundamental honesty where you speak from the heart to your director. While in theory this can sound easy, it can be difficult sometimes to voice your inmost concerns, reservations, or attractions when exploring a possible path in life. Even if an objection or attraction does not seem too important, it can be a crucial point in authentic discernment.

One advantage a guide enjoys is that he can be more objective in giving advice since he is not swayed by the same emotions and desires the discerner is experiencing. However, this advantage can only happen when the directee is truly honest about his needs, desires, fears, etc.

This honesty is more difficult and all the more to be practiced when the discerner is emotionally entangled with another of the opposite sex or a particular institute or form of life. It is easy to stifle genuine doubts of the suitability of choosing a person as a spouse when the emotions run high and this is the most critical time for balanced, objective advice.

© 2008 by Therese Ivers and www.doihaveavocation.com

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Because I feel that this is such an important topic, I decided to do a few things to help those who believe that they are called to serve God in Orders or the Consecrated state and who are hindered by student loans.  One thing I am planning to do is in the very near future, I will be hosting an interview with a person whose organization has done much to assist people pay off their loans in order to pursue a religious vocation or the priesthood.

What I would appreciate from you, dear readers, is if you are discerning a vocation and have personal debt, please send me your most pressing question(s)/comments on this subject HERE so that I can better prepare for this interview.  Thank you in advance.

Therese

God bless!

A sample clip is also available below for you to listen to in order to get an idea of what the interview was like.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com.

All Rights Reserved

The evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience were given by Christ to help people imitate Him more closely. While we are all called to practice these counsels according to our state in life, religious vow poverty, chastity, and obedience according to the charism of their institute. Their rules govern how these vows are concretely lived out in the day to day life of a religious.

While religious don’t separate themselves from the world to the extent of establishing a convent in space, they do withdraw from certain activities and things which hinder their call to leave things behind for the sake of following Christ more easily. For example, you will probably not see religious who as a community get season tickets for the football games in their area. They may individually attend some football games, but as a whole you should not see them make extravagant purchases or indulge in activities proper to those who are not separated from worldly things.

Common life is another characteristic of religious life. Religious should be in community. How this common life is lived out practically speaking is spelled out in their rules. By living together in community, religious are able to help support each other in their common goal of holiness in their way of life, of prayer and intercession for the people of God. Common life can be both a very large blessing and a source of friction and penance as individuals have their own personalities.

Should you be discerning a call to the religious form of consecrated life, you might want to pay attention to how these three elements are lived out in the community your are considering.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com