by Therese Ivers, JCL

Way back in September, I was asked to help with an upcoming retreat for women discerning their vocations and who feel like they’re beating their heads on the wall “discerning to death”.  This topic really resonated with me, and as I continue to prepare for this weekend’s retreat, I am seeing more and more how although there is plenty of literature giving pieces of information about the discernment process, there is hardly anything out there that talks about how to bring it to a peaceful conclusion.  The goal of discernment is to figure out God’s will in one’s life, most particularly whether God is calling one to assume a lifelong commitment by virtue of ordination, vow, or consecration.  In theory figuring out one’s vocation sounds pretty straightforward, but plenty of folks agonize over it, and some have never reached a practical conclusion as to whether there is a state in life they should pursue.  How exactly does a person go from the beginning to the middle and then reach the end of vocational discernment?

Vocations and the Fairy Tale

Good fairy tales touch upon the deep desires of human beings.  Some are about wealth as the reward of virtue and valor, a concept that even Our Lord uses in speaking about the reward of eternal life.  Others talk about longevity and an absence from the ordinary woes of life (think immortality and the properties of risen bodies).  The majority, however, are about romantic love in which after trial, the princess and the prince happily live together ever after.  Again, this reflects the eternal betrothal between Christ and His Church…

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I am judging marriage annulment cases and we get someone under oath testifying that they thought that once they got married, everything would turn out great (despite the fact their spouse was abusively beating them daily during their courtship, they were both high on drugs most of the time, that they had two or three children before they decided to get officially hitched…) simply and solely because getting married in the Church was somehow going to magically make things different!  It gets worse when they blame people in the Church for their failed marriage (why didn’t the priest stop us?)!  How is it that the fairy tale of living happily ever after gets drummed into people’s minds when it comes to vocational choices?  I will be forever happy if I marry that person…  I will automatically be holy if I become a priest…  As soon as I slip on that habit or religious life emblem, I’m gonna be floating around in prayer…  It seems to me that good discernment starts with understanding that fairy tales are just that.  Fairy tales.

The process of discerning a vocation starts with the realization that the process usually takes knowledge, dedication, and work.  Knowledge is necessary to make informed choices.  How much do you as a discerner know about the vocations open to you in the Church?  It takes dedication to following the will of God.  It also takes effort, or work.

One can say that the time of courtship, discernment for the seminary, convent, or other form of consecrated life, is normally a time of mutual discovery.  It takes work, both on the part of the person making the decision to pursue a particular path or narrow it down to a path, and of the person(s) who admit that person into vows (think marriage, religious life, diocesan hermit life, and secular institutes), consecration (consecrated virgins) and ordination (diaconate, priesthood, and episcopacy).  One who is discerning should work not only at improving knowledge about vocations, but self-knowledge so that obstacles and fears may be evaluated and addressed.

The Goal

The final goal of vocational discernment is to make vows, be consecrated or be ordained if this should be the Lord’s will.  Yet, the immediate goal of the discerner should be to do what it takes to determine which path (if any) to which one seems to have a genuine call and make a decision to pursue it in a prudent fashion. That way, one can peacefully but purposefully pursue a possible call and offer oneself to a concrete person, diocese, order, or institute if one prudently and prayerfully determines they could be a fit.  Of course a person should be “open” in that the other person, diocese, order, or institute may determine that it is not their vocation to be united with you in their particular path to holiness.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL and www.DoIHaveAVocation.com.  All rights reserved.

There are two types of hermits.  The first is the privately dedicated individual who makes private vows.  The other is the canonical (diocesan) hermit who makes public vows.  Since both of them live in solitude, it may seem on the surface that there is little difference between living in public or private vows.  This, however, is not the case, and we will go through some of the differences between the private hermit and the canonical hermit.

The private hermit makes vows.  These vows can be made alone or before a priest (the priest merely witnesses the vows; he does not accept them in the name of the Church).  The hermit who wishes to profess a vow of obedience should find an individual who would be suitable as a superior or moderator and who agrees to function as such.   Normally, it is best if the superior is not his spiritual director unless exceptional circumstances call for it and if the extent of the obedience owed is clearly spelled out in the hermit’s rule of life.  Otherwise, the private hermit should not make a vow of obedience but should content himself with the vows of poverty and chastity.  The vow of obedience more properly belongs to the applicable canonical forms of consecrated life, not to private individuals who are not living in community or under hierarchical authority.

Who, then, is a private hermit?  A hermit under private vow(s) is lay (unless he is a cleric).  As a privately dedicated individual, he should not style himself “brother” or wear a habit of a particular order.   Since  he is not a member of the consecrated state, he should refrain from speaking of himself as a Catholic hermit as that implies canonical status as such.  Rather, he should explain to those he may encounter that he is a lay person drawn to solitude with its implication of prayer and penance.

The diocesan, or canonical hermit, on the other hand, is an individual whose superior is his local bishop.  He receives formation suitable for his calling and if his call is genuine, he may make his profession in the hands of his bishop.  Frequently, the canonical hermit wears identifiable garb.  The cowl is traditional for hermits.  He has a superior in the form of his bishop, and he lives out his vow of obedience as spelled out in the rule of life which he wrote and was accepted by the bishop.  He may call himself “Brother” and may refer to himself as a canonical hermit or a hermit by right of his profession.

Discernment on the part of both the hermit-candidate and the bishop can be helpful in pointing out the will of God for the discerner.  The period of testing and formation can help bring the candidate into a fuller understanding and appreciation for his vocation as a public witness to Christ through a life of solitude, prayer, and penance.  Further, the acceptance of the person as a canonical hermit gives the blessing and recognition of the Church upon him and acts as a sacramental.

As a publicly consecrated eremetic person, the canonical hermit usually enjoys the privilege of reserving the Blessed Sacrament in his hermitage.   This privilege is not normally given to private hermits because they are not recognized as hermits under the law.  The reservation of the Eucharist is permitted to the diocesan hermit by some bishops because of his unique vocation of assiduous prayer and penance.  It is similar to that privilege given to consecrated virgins by virtue of their being the brides of Christ who keep Him as their center of life, and of religious for their chapels to assist them in their vocation.

Some people are called to be private hermits.  Others are called to be canonical hermits.  Either way, the differences are not slight.

(c) 2008 by Therese Ivers   All Rights Reserved

]]> http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/108/feed 2 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/98 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/98#comments Wed, 14 May 2008 22:26:51 +0000 http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/98

Table of contents for Congress Pilgrimage 2008 Rome

1. International Congress Pilgrimage of Consecrated Virgins Rome 2008 Day 1
2. International Congress Pilgrimage of Virgins Rome 2008 Part II
3. International Congress Pilgrimage of Consecrated Virgins, Rome Day III
4. Consecrated Virgins International Congress Mass Days IV and V

Today was the first day of the International Congress Pilgrimage of the Consecrated Virgins held in Rome. After registration, almost 500 consecrated virgins from 52 countries gathered for Vespers and Mass celebrated by an Archbishop of France and half a dozen other (arch)bishops and a couple dozen priests. While most of the consecrated virgins are those living in the world, also attending were certain religious who have received the consecration at the hands of their bishop. In addition, some hermitesses who are also consecrated virgins were in attendence.

Archbishop Raymond Burke and a panel of consecrated virgins from Germany, Italy, Spain, the USA, and France presided at the first series of presentations by consecrated virgins on the status of the vocation in their countries of Italy, Austria, Germany, Argentina, Finland, and Hungary. According to the reports thus far, the median age began fairly high as the Rite was re-instated only 30 years ago after about ten centuries of most disuse. However, the median age is rapidly dropping. Many virgins are receiving the consecration now at the average age of 35 years.

Tomorrow, the international pilgrimage congress group of consecrated virgins will be honored by a private audience with Pope Benedict XVI. More on that later… and pictures to follow.

A consecrated hermit is an individual who has made public vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience in the hands of his bishop and lives them according to a rule of life approved by that bishop. The “diocesan hermit” and “consecrated hermit” lives a seclusive lifestyle and vocations to this form of consecrated life are rare. In this article, a hermit is male. However, most of what is written of male hermits applies equally to female hermitesses.

Life of Solitude

Each hermit lives in solitude. Social interaction is strictly limited because a hermit finds his vocation in the contemplation of divine things away from the tumult of the world. Consecrated hermits who are not ordained often attend Mass in the local parish. They may also be seen grocery shopping and running necessary errands. The degree of solitude and the manner of observing it is spelled out in their own rule of life, which may differ from hermit to hermit.  Hermits may also live in “community” in hermitages built on the same property.  They meet for common exercises such as Holy Mass.

Public Vows and Rule of Life

To become a diocesan hermit, an individual must normally live for some time under a rule of life. The hermit normally submits this rule to his bishop for approval. If the bishop discerns that a hermit who has been steadily living a balanced rule of life and observing the evangelical counsels should be admitted as a diocesan hermit, the hermit enters the consecrated state by making his profession at the hands of this bishop.

Desert Fathers

The desert fathers were the first known hermits. They lived in solitude either in “cells” or “hermitages” spread out far and few between or in clusters. Eventually many of the hermit clusters evolved into monastic groups. Some orders today preserve their eremetic roots. Carthusians, Camaldelese, Carmelites, and others were heavily influenced by the ermetic lifestyle. While over the centuries members of religious institutes could sometimes receive permission to become hermits, those who are not members of religious institutes are able under canon 603 to become diocesan hermits.

Vocational Discernment

If you are discerning a vocation to become a consecrated hermit, your first step should be to consult your spiritual director. You may also want to consult your diocesan office for vocations and perhaps the bishop himself.

 For centuries people have been embracing the evangelical counsels and binding themselves to observe them by the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  The most common example we have of persons making these vows are the men and women who make their profession of vows as religious.  These religious make what is known as public vows.   Not all people, however, are called to make public vows, but instead elect to follow the evangelical counsels through private vows.

There is one primary difference between a public vow of poverty, chastity, or obedience and a private vow of poverty, chastity, or obedience.  Public vows are made in a religious profession, profession of a member of a secular institute, or in the hands of the bishop of a diocesan hermit and have the effect of placing the individual in the consecrated state in the Church.  Private vows are made outside of this context of Ecclesiastical acceptance and they do not change the status of the individual making them within the Church.

Concretely, this means that if Mark would like to dedicate his life to Christ but does not feel called to enter religious life, join a secular institute,  become a diocesan hermit, or receive Holy Orders, he may consider whether he is called to make private vows.  Making private vows, especially those of the evangelical counsels, is not something to undertake lightly and ought to be done only after careful consideration, prayer, and consultation with a spiritual director.

One final thought.  Vows can remain private even when made in a Church ceremony.  An example of this can be when a priest receives private vows of an individual during Mass.   The mere fact that a vow is made in front of other people does not make it public in the eyes of the Church.  Members of any group that is not recognized in the Church as a religious or secular institute who make vows in a ceremony or Mass in their community are not to consider themselves in the consecrated state because their vows are essentially private.  Hence to call themselves consecrated men or women is misleading as they are not officially recognized in the Church as belonging to the consecrated state.

1^st Mistake – Choosing A Director With A Strong Bias Towards A Particular Way Of Life Or Spirituality

When Susie approaches her spiritual director who happens to be a Sister, she has the right to expect that this Sister will help her discern her vocation without pressuring Susie to join her religious institute. The primary purpose of a spiritual director is to help an individual to recognize and respond to the guidance of the Holy Spirit whether or not it benefits the spiritual director and his/her own institute directly. It would be nice to say that all spiritual directors and those giving advice on spiritual matters recognized and followed this principle of being fair, balanced, and not acting on a pre-set agenda, but this is not the case.

It is a well known fact that many discerners feel a certain amount of pressure to follow in the footsteps of their mentors. If Susie is talking to a Penitention Sister, then the pressure would normally be for her to join the Penitention. Or if Susie is corresponding with a cloistered Sister, then it is natural for most cloistered Sisters to invite her – perhaps strongly – to consider joining the cloister. While some consideration of the mentor’s institute is probably in order, there shouldn’t be an excessive amount of pressure to do so.

The best thing for Susie to do is to choose someone who will give her unbiased advice for her vocation journey. She can choose to have her director from a particular religious institute, but she should be aware of the danger of being persuaded or influenced to join that institute regardless of whether it is her true calling or not. Of course, not all religious, priests, or consecrated persons will give blatantly biased suggestions to follow their particular form of life, but it is a danger of which one should be aware.

2^nd Mistake – Not Selecting A Suitable Guide As One’s Spiritual Director

Each person is gifted with different talents and abilities. Today we have the problem that very few people are equipped to be a solid spiritual director. This has been an age old problem, and one that probably will continue into the foreseeable future. Why is this?

Well, there are a lot of things a good spiritual director will know that the general population, including most priests, do not know, because spiritual direction goes beyond confessional material. In addition, the personal holiness of the spiritual director can greatly affect the general course of the direction given.

The question of how to discern a good spiritual director is important because one’s immortal soul is at stake. One of the old maxims is that just as the father is to the son, so is the spiritual director to the directee. If the spiritual director is not competent, then one’s soul or at least one’s progress in the way of Divine love can be greatly harmed.

While there is plenty of advice for people to get spiritual directors when discerning a vocation, there is little out there of practical value to show what to look for in a spiritual director. The best book in my opinion on how to get a good spiritual director is written by a Marist, Fr. Thomas Dubay called Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within. I consider this book to be very useful for finding and evaluating spiritual directors and one of the few indispensable items in a Catholic bookshelf.

3^rd Mistake – Letting The Spiritual Director Make All The Decisions

A spiritual director’s role is assist a person in discerning the will of God. Usually the spiritual director’s advice should be followed although there is a time and a place for raising possible objections to some advice that is offered. When it comes to discerning a vocation, or even making other decisions, it can be tempting for a person to just leave it up to a spiritual director to make the final decision. Such a practice, however, can be gravely injurious to the welfare of the discerner and is unfair to the director.

Generally speaking, only a mature person should attempt to discern his vocation. If a person is mature (age is only a slight factor in the degree of maturity in today’s world), God expects such a person to take personal responsibility for his actions. This includes deciding what path in life to take after careful consideration and prayer.

A spiritual director should be able to help point out what God may be calling the directee to, but since the spiritual director is not the directee, the spiritual director has no way of knowing the inmost heart of the directee. This is why any vocational advice should be seen in the light of advice and not in the light of it being totally God’s will simply because it comes from the lips of the director.

4^th Mistake – Choosing A Spiritual Director With A Faulty Understanding Of Vocations

Today if you wanted to become a diocesan hermit there would be very few individuals who understand the vocation sufficiently to be of assistance in your discernment process. In fact, the eremitic vocation is so rare that it is misunderstood by many people, including a large number of spiritual directors. If you are discerning your vocation, it is important that your spiritual director have a proper understanding of the vocations open to you and be able to give you wise counsel regarding them.

Since a vocational choice is often a life long choice, it is extremely important that both you and your spiritual director have an understanding of your vocational options in the Church. This understanding needs to be aligned with the Church’s teaching, especially when connect to issues such as the doctrine concerning the impossibility of women’s ordinations, etc.

5^th Mistake – A Lack Of Honesty And Transparency With One’s Spiritual Director

When discussing your vocational discernment with a spiritual director, a particularly critical aspect of your conversation is a fundamental honesty where you speak from the heart to your director. While in theory this can sound easy, it can be difficult sometimes to voice your inmost concerns, reservations, or attractions when exploring a possible path in life. Even if an objection or attraction does not seem too important, it can be a crucial point in authentic discernment.

One advantage a guide enjoys is that he can be more objective in giving advice since he is not swayed by the same emotions and desires the discerner is experiencing. However, this advantage can only happen when the directee is truly honest about his needs, desires, fears, etc.

This honesty is more difficult and all the more to be practiced when the discerner is emotionally entangled with another of the opposite sex or a particular institute or form of life. It is easy to stifle genuine doubts of the suitability of choosing a person as a spouse when the emotions run high and this is the most critical time for balanced, objective advice.

© 2008 by Therese Ivers and www.doihaveavocation.com

All Rights Reserved

We know that God has given each and every one of us a personal vocation, a unique path in this world. For many, the view that the “only” vocations in the Church are to marriage, the consecrated life, and to the priesthood is disturbing. After all, there are plenty of persons out there who are not called to any of these three major vocations. The question then becomes whether God calls people specifically to the single life.

Before considering the question of the so-called “single state”, it would be good to review our primary vocation in life. As the baptized, we are called to holiness in life. We are adopted sons and daughters of God through Jesus Christ.

When we are baptized, we become part of the Church. In fact, the state into which we are baptized is that of the “lay faithful”. In other words, we are baptized into the lay state which has as its particular vocation holiness in the world. Members of the lay state are single people and married people. Both have an obligation to follow Christ and to witness to Him in the every day world they live in.

The Church recognizes two other states besides the lay state. One is the clerical state. Certain men, called by God, are ordained with the sacrament of holy orders and they are deacons, priests, and bishops. The other state is the consecrated state in which there are four ways in which a person may be called to this state. These four are the religious life, the diocesan hermit life, the consecrated virgin life, and life as a member of a secular institute.

The priesthood, consecrated state, and holy marriage share one thing in common. They are specific ways of life that God can call a baptized individual to join because living in them would help him or her get to heaven more easily. Another way of looking at these three callings is to see that over and above the common call of baptism, they require a lifelong commitment or vow and are sealed by a sacrament or sacramental.

Many consider the single life a vocation to which one may be called. After all, God does not seem to call all people to the priesthood, consecrated life, or marriage. Take for instance a person with a severe disability which would make it impossible for him to become a priest or marry or flourish in community or in a hermitage. Are we to consider him “just” a lay person? Shouldn’t we say that some people are called by God specifically to the single state?

When looking at it from the Church’s legal point of view, it is safe to say that the Church does not recognize a “single state”. Loosely speaking, a vocation can refer to many things. Our primary and most important vocation is holiness. Our secondary vocation is the state in life to which God calls us. And in the Church there are three states as noted before. An even more broad understanding of the word vocation can include other traditional vocations or jobs, but these, strictly speaking, concern what a person does rather than who a person is and his relationship with others.

One interesting and important thing to notice is that the person called to marriage, the clergy, or to the consecrated life, not only legally changes his state in the Church but his formal relationships also change. From a single person, the married person becomes two-in-one-flesh with another person. A single (or married individual) becomes another Christ, who imitates Christ by mirroring his relationship of Bridegroom to the Church by becoming a cleric when acting in persona Christi. A person in the consecrated life either is a disciple of Christ (male) or becomes the bride of Christ (female). There is a true transformation on the ontological level on one who has followed the call to one of these vocations.

Since all the baptized begin as single, lay Catholics, it does not make sense to say that this merits the title of its own state because it does not require a personal and permanent commitment to an additional relationship over and above that of an adopted son or daughter of God. It is, however, important that all lay Catholics, whether married or single, use their time and energy well on this earth so as to spread the kingdom of God.

The married have as their primary duty the raising and education of their children. The single lay Catholics, should dedicate themselves to the service of God and their country as appropriate for those in their circumstances.

© 2008 by Therese Ivers and www.doihaveavocation.com

All Rights Reserved

God bless!

A sample clip is also available below for you to listen to in order to get an idea of what the interview was like.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com.

All Rights Reserved

Here’s where you can download the podcast:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/sfcgp

God bless!

Therese Ivers