(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

In one of the states of the US that I grew up in, there is a convent.  In that convent are women dressed in habits.  They make vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience… and they live austerely.  They claim to belong to an ancient and revered Order.  But, they are not nuns, and they are not sisters.  As a matter of fact, they are lay women who masquerade as Roman Catholic religious.  In a word, they are frauds.

There is an international group that passes themselves off as a budding religious community.  Married individuals may join this so-called religious community.  People who are married and think they need to somehow become religious in order to become holy and wear a habit are often referred to join this group.  The website of this group has what purports to be “encouragement” from the Vatican.  The way this group is set up, there’s not a chance that it will ever get canonical approval from the Church, and I suspect that the words they quote from the Vatican were meant in the same spirit as ones of encouragement I got in a canned letter from the Vatican in 1993 to my own group (a social club).  And yet, people, longing to become religious, flock to this group and somehow think it will obtain recognition from the Church in the future despite grave irregularities.

An individual founded an international organization with vows and promises structured to further his ambitions and which helped shelter him from consequences from much of his criminal activities.  It was doing so much apparent good in the Catholic Church that people such as myself were threatened when we voiced our conviction that this organization exhibited most of the characteristics of a dangerous cult and violated the rights of potentially thousands or tens of thousands of souls.  One tactic this organization is said to have used is violating the consciences of its members and mixing up internal and external forum governance.  Because abuse and manipulation of conscience is by far one of the very worst abuses of the human person, I wrote my thesis on that subject to help people discerning vocations as it is still a very serious problem to this day in a certain percentage of seminaries, religious communities, and other groups (for an example of alleged vocational manipulation of conscience wherein God is used as a tool, see this article in reference to the commonly reported “Lost vocation, sure damnation” phrase used to manipulate vocations).

What’s common about all of these organizations (and there’s quite a few more out there)?  A blatant disregard for good theology, basic canon law, and ecclesiastical grounding.

There are groups out today and in the past that may have had a Cardinal, an alleged seer, or even a Pope preside at a profession or ordination, but that doesn’t mean a group isn’t a cult or that its leadership or members won’t and can’t harm others.  Often, it is precisely those communities or movements which look like they are hard core Catholics which do the most damage to people’s souls if under the control of frauds, manipulators, and/or malcontents who look like sheep on the outside but are wolves on the inside.

One reason this website exists is so that people are helped with the tools they need to make informed vocational decisions.  Sometimes it is necessary to point out the less than ideal side of human nature.  At times, the best way of doing that is by calling attention to real live examples of problems which occur when canon law, civil law, or even just plain and simple common sense isn’t followed.

In that spirit, then, I will bring to your attention an article written about some women who made private promises of poverty, chastity, obedience, and secrecy… but who may have put themselves in a very vulnerable position for doing so.  Excerpts from this article is taken from ReGAIN network’s website at http://regainnetwork.org/article.php?a=47245744 and is in blue while my comments are in black.  I do not necessarily agree with the opinions  or alleged facts expressed in this article.  But, it does report what has been informally and formally alleged about Regnum Christi by large numbers of ex-members.  What is factual is that Regnum Christi is a “lay movement”, and its canonical standing in the Church is not one that constitutes its members in the consecrated state, and my comments are based on that fact.

Grasping the Brass Ring – Reflections on the Consecrated Life in RC

By Giselle Sainte Marie

Contact: gisellestemarie@yahoo.com

Picture a beautiful young woman confronting her parents. She is modestly dressed, fresh of face and pure of heart, yet with firmness in her voice. “I love you both but you cannot stand between me and my vocation.” She has an unseen army at her back – great saints who had to defy families who wanted them to remain in the secular world, to carry on the family name or business, or to marry for questionable motives. Saint Clare is a model – the single-minded woman who fled to Assisi to have her beautiful hair shorn and to embrace the poverty of her friend Francis. This woman has also heard tales of Saint Thomas Aquinas whose Dominican companions kidnapped him out of his own home where he had been imprisoned by his family who didn’t understand his vocation. She also has stalwart women on her side – all those scattered throughout the world who have already undertaken their private promises to embrace Christ forever as their Spouse, and who are even now praying for her strength and perseverance in this confrontation.

Now she is confronted with these two beloved but misguided souls whose priorities do not match her own. They speak of education, degrees, work experience, and her youth – as though she hasn’t prayed long and hard over this decision! How could they know of the privilege of being called from all eternity to be a bride of Jesus Christ? How could they know how many other souls depended on her generosity right now? How could they speak of such mundane details when she had lived shoulder to shoulder with the most vibrant, enthusiastic, and joyful women she has ever met?

This scenario has been endured by many perplexed families in countless homes over the last ten years…

From the parents’ point of view, Regnum Christi – through its schools, youth groups, retreats, and summer camps – looked like just the organization to back up everything that had been fostered within the family. The [so-called] consecrated women who had taken charge of the girls’ clubs were zealous and focused.  The Legionary brothers and priests had taken such a fraternal interest in the boys and the state of their souls.  Who could doubt that the time spent in Legion-sponsored activities was anything but helpful in learning to live virtue and imitate Christ Himself?…

…Trapped by Closed Arguments
Joining the movement – incorporation – commits all members to daily, weekly, and monthly obligations such as prayers, meetings, and retreats. Each is an established devotion with many Catholics anyway so the transition to life in Regnum Christi is not difficult, although the degree of activity accelerates pretty quickly. With the incorporation, she is assured that, by her very presence, she is fulfilling God’s for herself and that the closer she integrates her life with the methodology of the Movement, the more closely she will be clinging to His will. That is the first catch, which confuses the members; it is a cyclical yet unspoken argument: “You are here, so God must want you here. Live this life well and you will assure your salvation.”   [A person in formation in any community should be aware that ongoing discernment is necessary and that just because he/she is "in" the formation program does not necessarily guarantee a divine call.]

The demands made on members are simply actions reflecting their baptismal promises. The prayers, apostolates, and recruitment methods are all centered on Regnum Christi organizations. This makes sense given the members commitment to this group, but this world also closes in on itself and becomes all-absorbing. The schools, the camps, the retreat centers, and the youth groups all need tremendous inputs of time and money, so members are quickly put to work according to their talents and availability. Each of these endeavors has as its given goal of spreading Gospel values and love of Christ so the mission cannot be disputed. Also, though, since the methodology is God’s gift to the Church and is blessed, the way to run these apostolates also cannot be disputed. Here we have a second closed argument for Regnum Christi: “The end is good because it is Christ; the means are blessed because it is of God – who are you to argue with either?”

The Movement has now stepped in as broker between the soul and God since it lays out the devotions and norms, is appointed safeguard of one’s baptismal promises, and becomes guardian of the way the member serves the Church since it directs the apostolic activities of its members. As it is difficult for an adult member to see the progression of control and pressure on the member, it is nearly impossible for the young and impressionable women to understand what they are undertaking by their association with Regnum Christi.

In the same way that parents take care to oversee large expenditures of their young adult children, they want to be near as life-altering decisions are made. This is what families are for – the overlapping generations allow wisdom to trickle down from the elders as new life assures fresh interest to the aging. The give and take between family members is under girded by love for one another and an active faith assures that action is grounded in truth.

How sad – and contrary to God’s plan for families – when such decisions about vocations are made without consulting the parents, the primary educators of these girls, and honest reservations are interpreted as deliberate obstacles to God’s plan. [The flip side is that while, in this case, families had grounds to object to Regnum Christi, some families generally oppose genuine vocations and may prove a hinderance to those with a vocation.]

Fatherly Oversight Missing
It is important to understand Regnum Christi’s explanation for its “consecrated” life. The women who choose this life are not “religious,” since no vows have been made. Vows are publicly made to a bishop [the author is technically incorrect here...  vows are made to God, not the bishop, and public ones are made through the bishop or comptent authority in the Church...], which give the soul a privileged place in the structure of the Church, canonically speaking. The consecrated member of Regnum Christi has made a set of private promises to a Legionary superior [again, so-called superior, because it is purely a private arrangement and not sanctioned or authorized by the Church to receive vows in her name], which means that she is still a layman in the Church, with no canonical protections for the life of poverty, chastity, and obedience she is undertaking. It has been made clear to her through her training, though, that private promises are every bit as binding before God as public vows and that, despite their canonical distinction, God takes them (and her) just as seriously.

The Legion’s explanation for such a distinction has been that this Movement was born under persecution (the Cristero War in Mexico in the early 20th century) and the ability of the consecrated members to live as laymen is an important protection for them should the Church return to the “catacombs.” While this may or may not happen in the future, it leaves the women tremendously vulnerable in a system that gives them no recourse for their difficulties. Each woman’s understanding of her vocation is that Christ has called her to Himself for spousal love but it is best if their relationship is maintained “under the radar,” so to speak. Wrapped up in the privilege of being so called, it would seem petty of her to demand protection for her status. God, she would think most certainly, will provide [does something like "you shall not tempt the Lord your God" sound familiar?].

Thus, consider that the parents are not a part of the decision-making process that leads to [the so-called] consecration: the fathers do not give their daughters to the Church in a formal way as has been historically a part of Religious professions (complete with wedding dress and bestowal of dowry gift), until recently the parents were not even invited to the consecration ceremonies (this change came about because of so much bad feeling by parents), and even parental permission is inconsequential to the acceptance of the young woman. Compounding this troubling set-up, there is no Episcopal oversight in the process; neither the young woman’s bishop from her home diocese nor the resident bishop where the consecration[dedication] is made knows of the consecration of the soul in his care. Interestingly enough, for the traditional outlook and orthodox sensibilities that the Legion is known for, they are party to a remarkably modern trend in family life – the independence of youth, the rejection of family wisdom for choosing a state in life, and in a manner of speaking, “spiritual elopement” – running away on the sly to embrace a spouse without witnesses. We will find, though, that even “elopement” as a definition may be too generous a term…

…Religious vows mirror wedding vows, with witnesses, notification of the appropriate authorities, [actually the appropriate authorities in religious institutes receive vows if and only if they approve them, and are not merely "notified"] and prior preparation of the candidates for the embrace of Christ as lifelong Spouse. Historically, the religious orders have demanded years of preparation with interim temporary vows paving the way for the final vows at the end. If the candidate leaves before her final vows, she or others have discerned that she is not called to the religious life and she goes knowing she was not yet a bride of Christ, no matter how many years were dedicated to the process.

In Regnum Christi, the process is somewhat reversed, with the [morally but privately] binding consecration [dedication] to spousal love of Christ undertaken after only weeks or months of preparation. This formation would consist of an academic explanation of consecration combined with two key elements: an opportunity to see the joy and enthusiasm of others living the life, and a presentation of the highly romanticized life of the founder, complete with tales of heroism, intrigue, persecution, and the weight of the New Evangelization squarely on his long-suffering shoulders. The accumulated effect on young impressionable girls is overwhelming. The program is front-loaded with her private promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience (and a fourth secret promise  added that the candidates probably were unprepared for [and which Pope Benedict XVI wisely dispensed for their male counterparts]); and then the women undertake a study of the evangelical counsels that now pertain to them – in order to better understand what they have already undertaken.

Too much anecdotal evidence exists which points to an imprudent push to consecrate girls without adequate preparation or authentic discernment. The constant euphoria in consecrated houses – combined with an urgency to increase their numbers, zealousness to outdo one another in generosity, and clinging to the Methodology as the only path to God – all lead one to see that the younger members are caught up in “crushes on Christ” rather than mature bonds of spousal union. Young women have willingly accepted that others “see” their vocation, even if they are unsure. They in turn may later influence others to embrace [that is, have them make vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, obeying other lay and not consecrated women with no canonical safeguards] [what they think is ]consecrated life [but is actually privately dedicated lay life with a religious life-like structure] in order to justify their own choice and this pressure on the candidate, combined with spiritual direction that leads many to consecrate [dedicate, not consecrate] themselves as an added witness to growing ranks, makes true discernment difficult to impossible…

Are They Really Brides of Christ?
There is no doubt that these consecrated women have surrendered themselves to God in a private and complete way. They live complete poverty, chastity, and obedience with an understanding that they have taken Jesus Christ as Spouse. They fully intend to live this life until death – and yet many leave after a few years, torn with guilt, confusion, and embroiled in a monumental spiritual crisis. Just as the Church concerns herself with the status of divorced Catholics, we must take the time to consider whether these women were actually “married,” or were merely living as “spiritual concubines.”

The state provides certain protections to its citizens through laws and statutes, and the Church protects her members likewise through canon law. Those who have publicly entered Religious life have unique canonical protections that the laity neither has nor needs, since the laity have retained their rights to own property and engage in contracts. When men or women attempt lives of poverty and obedience to Church hierarchy, canonical norms usually protect them and their unique status in the Church. The so-called Consecrated women do not have the canonical protections that Religious have, and yet their promises obligate them to that same way of life. Their conscience alone forbids them from making demands in return for the unpaid hours, their total gift of self. If promises to them by their superiors are broken or “understandings” become “misunderstandings,” there is no recourse because their promise was completely “in-house” and private.* By their generous nature and desire to annihilate their own preferences, these women are prime targets for abuse should their [non canonical] superiors not have the highest ethical standards.

Those familiar with the grounds for annulment recognize in the inadequate formation process grounds for assuming that no true union took place. Those who have daughters become consecrated [dedicated as they are not consecrated] against their parents’ wishes may recognize similarities to wayward daughters of another type, raising red flags about their maturity in light of this decision:

1 “Jesus wants me and I am special to Him.”
2 “You just don’t understand.”
3 “I am old enough to do this and don’t need your permission.”…

The consecrated woman’s confusion about this group is compounded by its rate of growth. Another circular argument that is given to her is that it is clear that Regnum Christi is especially blessed by God because of its staggering growth in numbers. Surrounded by women who have been spiritually manipulated into premature promises, and then sent out to recruit others in the same way, she is trapped. If she is less than zealous in recruiting numbers to the consecrated life, she is questioning the methodology that recruited her, and if she recruits heavily, she is “stacking the deck” in God’s “blessings” by filling the houses with vocations as tenuous as her own [even human activities can be "blessed" with numbers.  Look at the socialist and communist movements that had fanatic followers and recruiters].

Every endeavor in which her superiors allow her to participate has as its ultimate goal to increase the Regnum Christi fold: World Youth Days, visiting university campuses, teaching CCD programs, assisting at marriage retreats, attending international fora where policies are hammered out, establishing youth groups, even sharing dinner with local families when invited. There is no wonder that, despite the many avenues for sharing Christ and spreading the Gospel, each event has a recruiting dimension. Reticence in sharing the Movement would be unheard of to a consecrated member who knows that for efficacy and timeliness, Regnum Christi is the easiest way to build the Kingdom. Thus increasing numbers – the top priority for all members – is twisted into legitimacy, which in turn helps to increase the numbers (and confusion!) of the consecrated [dedicated women].

What if She Leaves?
Many women leave, although their souls are in turmoil and their reentry into normal life is fraught with confusion. Good spiritual direction after leaving allows them to understand that the consecration that they undertook carries only as much weight as any consecration that any Catholic makes – i.e. to the Sacred Heart, to the Immaculate Heart, to live as a secular Franciscan, or to live more closely one’s baptismal commitments [this is incorrect.  The women have made private vows/promises which if they are not void by virtue of their being made with ignorance and lack of due preparation, ought to be dispensed, and will be dispensed quite easily by their pastor or bishop.  This article here is helpful for those in this predicament.]. As far as the best theologians can discern, there was no spousal union of the nature of a Religious or consecrated virgin who makes quiet vows in the presence of her bishop [The consecrated virgin of canon 604 does NOT make quiet vows in the presence of her bishop.   She is consecrated publicly by the bishop, and by virtue of that consecration is made a "sacred person" and a spouse of Christ.  Again, this is like Holy Orders which  is done through the ministry of the Bishop not through proffering one's vows.] . As harsh or disrespectful as it may seem, living this union with Christ without canonical recognition is much like living in a common-law marriage without the protection of the state. We are all called to give our hearts to Christ and, during this phase of her life, Christ had her total attention – but it was never properly consummated. Nothing is wasted, nothing is lost, but she is free to move on, to marry, or to join another community.

It should be understood by the families and loved ones of the consecrated members that, although many leave, others may be crippled both in their ability to leave as well as after leaving. Cult experts have commented elsewhere on the frightening elements of life in Regnum Christi that come perilously close to cult-like attributes. Knowing full-well that God keeps His word and expects us to as well, coupled with the ominous view that “God saw you from all eternity as Regnum Christi,” it is virtually impossible to walk away without fears for one’s salvation. Several things must be kept in mind…

3. As for the promises, the same rules that govern marriage tribunals should govern the consciences of the women who change their minds about consecration. They can recognize that the promises were undertaken without proper formation, without adequate consent, and while lacking sufficient maturity to make them binding.  [And, therefore, like those challenging their status in the marriage tribunal, these so-called consecrated women should get a dispensation from their pastor or bishop from their private vows since those vows do morally bind an individual to celibacy unless dispensed by the proper authority (which is easier than having them declared null).]

For examples of such misunderstandings, ample evidence exists that promises of education and degrees are often not fulfilled. Likewise, not all consecrated members find that the work they are offered measures up to their skills and formation. Family background also seems to have a bearing on certain assignments and opportunities for positions of authority, which is very distracting to the mission.

The above excerpts from the lengthy but interesting article is an indication of why canonists take “hair splitting” definitions seriously and why it pays to do one’s due diligence in vocational discernment.  Lives- real people with real souls – are affected.

By Therese Ivers

One of the most frequent topics people discerning their vocation have several questions about is on vows and promises. As most people enter their vocation by means of a vow or vows, this topic is of great importance.

To begin with, all Catholics by virtue of their baptismal promises, have the obligation of rejecting sin, refusing to be mastered by sin, rejecting satan, and living out the teachings of the Catholic Church. All Catholics by virtue of their baptism, are called to strive for holiness in a manner consistent with their state in life.

Some people, perhaps the majority of people, are called to live out the general call or vocation to holiness by embracing a specific way of life through means of vow/promise, ordination, or consecration. This can be described as following a “call within the call”, or as more commonly called, following a “vocation”. It is this sense of a call to a specific way of life that the word “vocation” will be used in this article.

Vocations Entered by Public Vow(s)

Marriage and religious life are entered by means of public vow(s). In marriage, each of the (baptized) couple are the ministers of the sacrament of matrimony and by exchanging vows, enter a lifelong relationship as spouses and become “two in one flesh”. Religious profess vows to God according to their constitutions/statutes which specify how the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience are to be led. Diocesan hermits have the option of entering their state by vowing the three evangelical counsels by public vow, or they may choose to make public promises.

Vocation Entered by Public Promise(s)

Diocesan hermits have the option of professing public promises rather than public promises. They promise by means of a promise or sacred bond to follow the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience according to their rule of life.

Vocation Entered by Semi-Public Vow(s)/Promises

Members of secular institutes vow or promise the three evangelical counsels by means of semi-public vows.

Vocation Entered by Ordination in Conjunction with Public Promises

During the Rite of Ordination, those entering Orders promise obedience, and some promise celibacy.

Some Common Elements of Public and Semi-Public Vows and Promises:

• Discernment is two-sided. In marriage, it is the other individual who discerns whether to accept marriage vows. It is the Church that discerns through the bishop – or legitimate authority in the different forms of consecrated life or secular institute – whether to accept vows/promises in the name of God and His Church.
• Public/semi-public vows and promises either constitute a person into a formal vocation recognized in the Church, or are an important element of that way of life (such as in holy orders).
• New public obligations and rights are assumed by the person making the vows/promises which flow from the nature of the vocation being entered into.

Private Vows and Promises

What is a private vow or promise? The Catechism of the Catholic Church states the following about vows:

In many circumstances, the Christian is called to make promises to God. Baptism and Confirmation, Matrimony and Holy Orders always entail promises. Out of personal devotion, the Christian may also promise to God this action, that prayer, this alms-giving, that pilgrimage, and so forth. Fidelity to promises made to God is a sign of the respect owed to the divine majesty and of love for a faithful God.

“A vow is a deliberate and free promise made to God concerning a possible and better good which must be fulfilled by reason of the virtue of religion,” A vow is an act of devotion in which the Christian dedicates himself to God or promises him some good work. By fulfilling his vows he renders to God what has been promised and consecrated to Him. The Acts of the Apostles shows us St. Paul concerned to fulfill the vows he had made.

The Church recognizes an exemplary value in the vows to practice the evangelical counsels:

Mother Church rejoices that she has within herself many men and women who pursue the Savior’s self-emptying more closely and show it forth more clearly, by undertaking poverty with the freedom of the children of God, and renouncing their own will: they submit themselves to man for the sake of God, thus going beyond what is of precept in the matter of perfection, so as to conform themselves more fully to the obedient Christ.²⁴

The Church can, in certain cases and for proportionate reasons, dispense from vows and promises^. (CCC #2101-2103)

Private vows may be made to God, then, for a “possible” and “better” good, according to the Catechism. What is “possible” in this context? Possible has several meanings. One is that a person must be free to make the promise/vow. A married person is not free to vow “chastity” (as the vow of celibacy and continence is called) because the right to the procreative powers of his/her body belongs to his/her spouse. One must be the right age to make a binding vow/promise (the minimum/maximum age will differ according to the nature of the vow/promise). The person must have an understanding of what is being promised and have sufficient deliberation.

The “better” good can encompass a lot of things. A person can promise to fast. This is a “better” good only if it is both subjectively and objectively better for the person making the vow. So, objectively, fasting is a good thing. Subjectively, it can be bad or good depending on the person and his/her circumstances. A person with hypoglycemia probably should never do a strict fast or vow one because it is “bad” for their health. The reason the Pharisee’s fasting and almsgiving talked about in the Gospel could be bad is the motivation was for show and human praise rather than the glorification of God.

Now, should a person make private vows or promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience if they do not feel called to life as a religious, member of a secular institute, or diocesan hermit? That is a million dollar question, and for it, there is no pat answer. In discerning whether to assume private vows or promises with such life changing implications, a person should give the matter the serious thought, understanding, and deliberation appropriate for taking such an action. Some things which should be considered are:

• A person should undertake the responsibilities pledged by vow or promise only if they are truly called to do so by God. One of the advantages of pursuing public vow(s)/promise(s) is that the Church herself through the ministry of others (bishop, community, potential spouse) discerns whether a person may be called to a particular way of life. The process of discernment is usually lengthy so that the individual can learn about the rights and responsibilities of the life he/she wishes to enter by vow and so that the bishop, person, or community can determine if they are a good fit. In other words, a lot more formation in the evangelical counsels is available to those who pursue canonically recognized vocations.

By the same token, discerning whether to pursue lifelong commitments made by private vows/promises can be more difficult because there isn’t that in built process of formation and guidance given to people thinking of canonically recognized vocations.

• It is strongly recommended that the insight and advice of a competent spiritual director be sought if one is considering assuming a private vow(s) related to the evangelical counsels. This is to ensure that one is indeed truly called by God to make it(them), that the formula and matter is valid (for example, to vow “joy” is invalid because joy is not something that can be undertaken at will), that the scope of the vow is clearly spelled out and understood, etc.
• Private vows may be dispensed or commuted by the proper authorities, not by oneself.

• While all Christians are called to follow the evangelical counsels in a manner befitting their state in life, not all are called to vow their strict and more radical observance for the sake of the Kingdom. Hence, it is important that it is truly God’s will, not an individual’s inclination, that brings a person to make a vow of chastity. A person should exercise great caution in vowing poverty or obedience, because how they are actually lived out must be understood in accordance with tradition and how they are to be lived should be written out so that boundaries are clearly understood.

• Normally, a person should not make a vow of obedience to their spiritual director. This is because the internal and external forums are distinct and should not be confused, and there is room for grave abuse when the forums are mixed. Nor should an individual ever make a vow of secrecy or silence (not to criticize their superior or keep the details of their spiritual life/practices secret).
• A private vow/promise of chastity involves a person dedicating himself to the Lord.  Thus a  lay person who is under private vow/promise is a “dedicated” lay person.  A person whose vows are public is a member of the “consecrated state”, and thus belongs to the state which in itself is neither lay nor clerical but consecrated.  A person whose vows are semi-public (members of secular institutes make these vows or promises) is a “consecrated” lay person if lay or “consecrated” ordained person if ordained, but is not a member of the consecrated state unless he/she is also a member of a religious institute, a diocesan hermit, or a consecrated virgin.  In other words, “dedicated” is one making one’s vows to God unmediated through the Church.  “Consecrated” is one whose vows are mediated through the Church.

So, if a person, after suitable preparation, formation, testing, discernment, advice, etc. wishes to make a private vow of chastity, then what? Because the decision should not be made lightly, valid formulas will not be listed on this site, but should be sought from a priest, spiritual director, or other expert.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL

All Rights Reserved

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Way back in September, I was asked to help with an upcoming retreat for women discerning their vocations and who feel like they’re beating their heads on the wall “discerning to death”.  This topic really resonated with me, and as I continue to prepare for this weekend’s retreat, I am seeing more and more how although there is plenty of literature giving pieces of information about the discernment process, there is hardly anything out there that talks about how to bring it to a peaceful conclusion.  The goal of discernment is to figure out God’s will in one’s life, most particularly whether God is calling one to assume a lifelong commitment by virtue of ordination, vow, or consecration.  In theory figuring out one’s vocation sounds pretty straightforward, but plenty of folks agonize over it, and some have never reached a practical conclusion as to whether there is a state in life they should pursue.  How exactly does a person go from the beginning to the middle and then reach the end of vocational discernment?

Vocations and the Fairy Tale

Good fairy tales touch upon the deep desires of human beings.  Some are about wealth as the reward of virtue and valor, a concept that even Our Lord uses in speaking about the reward of eternal life.  Others talk about longevity and an absence from the ordinary woes of life (think immortality and the properties of risen bodies).  The majority, however, are about romantic love in which after trial, the princess and the prince happily live together ever after.  Again, this reflects the eternal betrothal between Christ and His Church…

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I am judging marriage annulment cases and we get someone under oath testifying that they thought that once they got married, everything would turn out great (despite the fact their spouse was abusively beating them daily during their courtship, they were both high on drugs most of the time, that they had two or three children before they decided to get officially hitched…) simply and solely because getting married in the Church was somehow going to magically make things different!  It gets worse when they blame people in the Church for their failed marriage (why didn’t the priest stop us?)!  How is it that the fairy tale of living happily ever after gets drummed into people’s minds when it comes to vocational choices?  I will be forever happy if I marry that person…  I will automatically be holy if I become a priest…  As soon as I slip on that habit or religious life emblem, I’m gonna be floating around in prayer…  It seems to me that good discernment starts with understanding that fairy tales are just that.  Fairy tales.

The process of discerning a vocation starts with the realization that the process usually takes knowledge, dedication, and work.  Knowledge is necessary to make informed choices.  How much do you as a discerner know about the vocations open to you in the Church?  It takes dedication to following the will of God.  It also takes effort, or work.

One can say that the time of courtship, discernment for the seminary, convent, or other form of consecrated life, is normally a time of mutual discovery.  It takes work, both on the part of the person making the decision to pursue a particular path or narrow it down to a path, and of the person(s) who admit that person into vows (think marriage, religious life, diocesan hermit life, and secular institutes), consecration (consecrated virgins) and ordination (diaconate, priesthood, and episcopacy).  One who is discerning should work not only at improving knowledge about vocations, but self-knowledge so that obstacles and fears may be evaluated and addressed.

The Goal

The final goal of vocational discernment is to make vows, be consecrated or be ordained if this should be the Lord’s will.  Yet, the immediate goal of the discerner should be to do what it takes to determine which path (if any) to which one seems to have a genuine call and make a decision to pursue it in a prudent fashion. That way, one can peacefully but purposefully pursue a possible call and offer oneself to a concrete person, diocese, order, or institute if one prudently and prayerfully determines they could be a fit.  Of course a person should be “open” in that the other person, diocese, order, or institute may determine that it is not their vocation to be united with you in their particular path to holiness.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL and www.DoIHaveAVocation.com.  All rights reserved.

Is the vocation to the priesthood objectively higher than that to the married state? How do you know if your vocation is to be a priest, a mother, a sister, or a brother? Versatile paper napkins doubled as writing pads for some who needed to quickly scribble a diagram or note and the rattle of dishes and smell of “dorm food” accompanied the discussion a small group of us students had in the cafeteria on different aspects of vocations to the priesthood and consecrated life. Since this was a college, this was a question worthy of the academic mind and research. It was also a practical question for us as we tried to envision life after graduation from an institution that has an average of at least 10% of its graduates pursuing vocations. We grappled with the idea of different paths in life in twos, threes, or larger groups and shared the fruit of our research with others.

Ten years later, I caught sight of one of the students I had had intellectual tussles with on various subjects including that of vocations. Joseph Bolin was walking down the courtyard of my university in Rome, stopping by for a brief visit to the campus. We caught up with the news of our respective lives and then renewed our discussion on the process of vocational discernment. It was refreshing to hear his views on the process, and they had certainly had been polished over the years to the point where I agreed with much of what he had to say on the matter.

Not long after my encounter with Mr. Bolin, he sent me a copy of his work on discerning vocations that he was preparing for publication called Paths of Love: The Discernment of Vocation According to Aquinas, Ignatius, and Pope John Paul II. I read it and it is a gem of a book. This book synthesizes the thought of St. Ignatius, Pope John Paul II, and St. Thomas Aquinas and their different approaches on vocational discernment and resolves apparent conflicts in the different ways the saints over the centuries have talked about following God’s call in life. At the end, practical advice is given for discerners to consider for their faith journey.

Because this is a website dedicated to helping the discerner make an informed choice, from time to time a book, CD, or DVD will be mentioned that we feel could be helpful. In this case, I believe that this book on vocational discernment is a good one to use as a guide for understanding the thought of some of the most influential spiritual leaders on vocations. That being said, it does take careful reading and will give a deeper and richer knowledge of the discernment process if read well.

As a work on the different answers St. Ignatius, St. Thomas Aquinas, and John Paul II give to the question on how to know your vocation, this book is a gem. It is not, however, an encyclopedia on vocational discernment. Thus, it focuses mostly on different approaches these people have had towards discernment and so there are other aspects of different vocations that are not covered in this book. In addition, the book has the limitation in that the author restricts himself to speaking about vocations to the priesthood, religious life, and marriage. However, one can expand the notion of “priesthood” to “clerical state” and “religious life” to “consecrated life” as there is a call to the diaconate and other forms of consecrated life.

For those who believe that this book may be helpful to them, I recommend you give it a try. I wrote this unsolicited book review because I felt that this book may be beneficial to some of DoIHaveAVocation.com’s readers as I have personally found few books on discernment that are worth reading. This is one of those books which I find worthwhile although not absolutely essential for the Catholic library, and so I hope some of you will find it useful in your faith journey.

A consecrated hermit is an individual who has made public vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience in the hands of his bishop and lives them according to a rule of life approved by that bishop. The “diocesan hermit” and “consecrated hermit” lives a seclusive lifestyle and vocations to this form of consecrated life are rare. In this article, a hermit is male. However, most of what is written of male hermits applies equally to female hermitesses.

Life of Solitude

Each hermit lives in solitude. Social interaction is strictly limited because a hermit finds his vocation in the contemplation of divine things away from the tumult of the world. Consecrated hermits who are not ordained often attend Mass in the local parish. They may also be seen grocery shopping and running necessary errands. The degree of solitude and the manner of observing it is spelled out in their own rule of life, which may differ from hermit to hermit.  Hermits may also live in “community” in hermitages built on the same property.  They meet for common exercises such as Holy Mass.

Public Vows and Rule of Life

To become a diocesan hermit, an individual must normally live for some time under a rule of life. The hermit normally submits this rule to his bishop for approval. If the bishop discerns that a hermit who has been steadily living a balanced rule of life and observing the evangelical counsels should be admitted as a diocesan hermit, the hermit enters the consecrated state by making his profession at the hands of this bishop.

Desert Fathers

The desert fathers were the first known hermits. They lived in solitude either in “cells” or “hermitages” spread out far and few between or in clusters. Eventually many of the hermit clusters evolved into monastic groups. Some orders today preserve their eremetic roots. Carthusians, Camaldelese, Carmelites, and others were heavily influenced by the ermetic lifestyle. While over the centuries members of religious institutes could sometimes receive permission to become hermits, those who are not members of religious institutes are able under canon 603 to become diocesan hermits.

Vocational Discernment

If you are discerning a vocation to become a consecrated hermit, your first step should be to consult your spiritual director. You may also want to consult your diocesan office for vocations and perhaps the bishop himself.

1^st Mistake – Choosing A Director With A Strong Bias Towards A Particular Way Of Life Or Spirituality

When Susie approaches her spiritual director who happens to be a Sister, she has the right to expect that this Sister will help her discern her vocation without pressuring Susie to join her religious institute. The primary purpose of a spiritual director is to help an individual to recognize and respond to the guidance of the Holy Spirit whether or not it benefits the spiritual director and his/her own institute directly. It would be nice to say that all spiritual directors and those giving advice on spiritual matters recognized and followed this principle of being fair, balanced, and not acting on a pre-set agenda, but this is not the case.

It is a well known fact that many discerners feel a certain amount of pressure to follow in the footsteps of their mentors. If Susie is talking to a Penitention Sister, then the pressure would normally be for her to join the Penitention. Or if Susie is corresponding with a cloistered Sister, then it is natural for most cloistered Sisters to invite her – perhaps strongly – to consider joining the cloister. While some consideration of the mentor’s institute is probably in order, there shouldn’t be an excessive amount of pressure to do so.

The best thing for Susie to do is to choose someone who will give her unbiased advice for her vocation journey. She can choose to have her director from a particular religious institute, but she should be aware of the danger of being persuaded or influenced to join that institute regardless of whether it is her true calling or not. Of course, not all religious, priests, or consecrated persons will give blatantly biased suggestions to follow their particular form of life, but it is a danger of which one should be aware.

2^nd Mistake – Not Selecting A Suitable Guide As One’s Spiritual Director

Each person is gifted with different talents and abilities. Today we have the problem that very few people are equipped to be a solid spiritual director. This has been an age old problem, and one that probably will continue into the foreseeable future. Why is this?

Well, there are a lot of things a good spiritual director will know that the general population, including most priests, do not know, because spiritual direction goes beyond confessional material. In addition, the personal holiness of the spiritual director can greatly affect the general course of the direction given.

The question of how to discern a good spiritual director is important because one’s immortal soul is at stake. One of the old maxims is that just as the father is to the son, so is the spiritual director to the directee. If the spiritual director is not competent, then one’s soul or at least one’s progress in the way of Divine love can be greatly harmed.

While there is plenty of advice for people to get spiritual directors when discerning a vocation, there is little out there of practical value to show what to look for in a spiritual director. The best book in my opinion on how to get a good spiritual director is written by a Marist, Fr. Thomas Dubay called Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within. I consider this book to be very useful for finding and evaluating spiritual directors and one of the few indispensable items in a Catholic bookshelf.

3^rd Mistake – Letting The Spiritual Director Make All The Decisions

A spiritual director’s role is assist a person in discerning the will of God. Usually the spiritual director’s advice should be followed although there is a time and a place for raising possible objections to some advice that is offered. When it comes to discerning a vocation, or even making other decisions, it can be tempting for a person to just leave it up to a spiritual director to make the final decision. Such a practice, however, can be gravely injurious to the welfare of the discerner and is unfair to the director.

Generally speaking, only a mature person should attempt to discern his vocation. If a person is mature (age is only a slight factor in the degree of maturity in today’s world), God expects such a person to take personal responsibility for his actions. This includes deciding what path in life to take after careful consideration and prayer.

A spiritual director should be able to help point out what God may be calling the directee to, but since the spiritual director is not the directee, the spiritual director has no way of knowing the inmost heart of the directee. This is why any vocational advice should be seen in the light of advice and not in the light of it being totally God’s will simply because it comes from the lips of the director.

4^th Mistake – Choosing A Spiritual Director With A Faulty Understanding Of Vocations

Today if you wanted to become a diocesan hermit there would be very few individuals who understand the vocation sufficiently to be of assistance in your discernment process. In fact, the eremitic vocation is so rare that it is misunderstood by many people, including a large number of spiritual directors. If you are discerning your vocation, it is important that your spiritual director have a proper understanding of the vocations open to you and be able to give you wise counsel regarding them.

Since a vocational choice is often a life long choice, it is extremely important that both you and your spiritual director have an understanding of your vocational options in the Church. This understanding needs to be aligned with the Church’s teaching, especially when connect to issues such as the doctrine concerning the impossibility of women’s ordinations, etc.

5^th Mistake – A Lack Of Honesty And Transparency With One’s Spiritual Director

When discussing your vocational discernment with a spiritual director, a particularly critical aspect of your conversation is a fundamental honesty where you speak from the heart to your director. While in theory this can sound easy, it can be difficult sometimes to voice your inmost concerns, reservations, or attractions when exploring a possible path in life. Even if an objection or attraction does not seem too important, it can be a crucial point in authentic discernment.

One advantage a guide enjoys is that he can be more objective in giving advice since he is not swayed by the same emotions and desires the discerner is experiencing. However, this advantage can only happen when the directee is truly honest about his needs, desires, fears, etc.

This honesty is more difficult and all the more to be practiced when the discerner is emotionally entangled with another of the opposite sex or a particular institute or form of life. It is easy to stifle genuine doubts of the suitability of choosing a person as a spouse when the emotions run high and this is the most critical time for balanced, objective advice.

© 2008 by Therese Ivers and www.doihaveavocation.com

All Rights Reserved

Table of contents for College Education

1. College Education Part I- Should Cloistered Nuns Have A College Education?
2. College Education Part II- Choosing A College When Discerning

by Therese Ivers

Frances was a very bright AP high school student. During her senior year, Frances discovered the Lord and felt a very strong call to live her life in the cloister. After looking around at various convents, she felt very attracted to a community in a close by city. After a lot of thought and prayer, Frances decided to enter soon after she would graduate.

When the relatives and friends heard that Frances wanted to enter the cloister, they were very happy for her. One day, though, Frances went to speak to a priest friend of her family. He suggested that she seriously consider going to college before entering the cloister. Frances did not want to go to college before becoming a nun, but she promised to do some research on the matter and make a novena to help her in her discernment.

In the middle of her novena, Frances got a call from a friend she really respected. This person urged her to join the convent immediately and not “lose” her calling by going to college. Her friend pointed out that even if she went to college, she would probably be burdened with student loans that could take a while to pay back. Since the convent did not require a college degree and was cloistered, there was no reason why Frances should even consider going to college.

Does this scenario of conflicting advice about college education sound familiar? One of the biggest decisions the younger discerner faces is whether to go to – or to continue attending – college. While this article will specifically cover many of the pros and cons of attending college for women interested in becoming a cloistered nun, what is said here can be applicable in many ways to others discerning their vocations to consecrated life.

(c) 2008 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com. All Rights Reserved

God bless!

A sample clip is also available below for you to listen to in order to get an idea of what the interview was like.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com.

All Rights Reserved

The evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience were given by Christ to help people imitate Him more closely. While we are all called to practice these counsels according to our state in life, religious vow poverty, chastity, and obedience according to the charism of their institute. Their rules govern how these vows are concretely lived out in the day to day life of a religious.

While religious don’t separate themselves from the world to the extent of establishing a convent in space, they do withdraw from certain activities and things which hinder their call to leave things behind for the sake of following Christ more easily. For example, you will probably not see religious who as a community get season tickets for the football games in their area. They may individually attend some football games, but as a whole you should not see them make extravagant purchases or indulge in activities proper to those who are not separated from worldly things.

Common life is another characteristic of religious life. Religious should be in community. How this common life is lived out practically speaking is spelled out in their rules. By living together in community, religious are able to help support each other in their common goal of holiness in their way of life, of prayer and intercession for the people of God. Common life can be both a very large blessing and a source of friction and penance as individuals have their own personalities.

Should you be discerning a call to the religious form of consecrated life, you might want to pay attention to how these three elements are lived out in the community your are considering.

(c) 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com