» Consecrated Widows

The Thursday Q & A

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:20:56 +0000

Q. I am a widow. What are my vocational options?
A. If you are a Roman Catholic widow, you are called to live the universal call to holiness. It may be that you have been given a call within a call and that you might be called to marriage, to the religious life, to a society of apostolic life, to become a member of a secular institute, or perhaps to privately dedicate your life to Christ through a life-long private vow of chastity. Of course, it is essential for good discernment that a widow have
gone through a sufficient grieving and adjustment period before seriously contemplating possibly taking on a new life-long commitment.

NB. Eastern Catholic widows have the additional possibility of entering the consecrated state as a consecrated widow should they be admitted to this by their local hierarch.

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

Is There A Vocation To The Single Life?

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 10:05:05 +0000

by Therese Ivers

We know that God has given each and every one of us a personal vocation, a unique path in this world. For many, the view that the “only” vocations in the Church are to marriage, the consecrated life, and to the priesthood is disturbing. After all, there are plenty of persons out there who are not called to any of these three major vocations. The question then becomes whether God calls people specifically to the single life.

Before considering the question of the so-called “single state”, it would be good to review our primary vocation in life. As the baptized, we are called to holiness in life. We are adopted sons and daughters of God through Jesus Christ.

When we are baptized, we become part of the Church. In fact, the state into which we are baptized is that of the “lay faithful”. In other words, we are baptized into the lay state which has as its particular vocation holiness in the world. Members of the lay state are single people and married people. Both have an obligation to follow Christ and to witness to Him in the every day world they live in.

The Church recognizes two other states besides the lay state. One is the clerical state. Certain men, called by God, are ordained with the sacrament of holy orders and they are deacons, priests, and bishops. The other state is the consecrated state in which there are four ways in which a person may be called to this state. These four are the religious life, the diocesan hermit life, the consecrated virgin life, and life as a member of a secular institute.

The priesthood, consecrated state, and holy marriage share one thing in common. They are specific ways of life that God can call a baptized individual to join because living in them would help him or her get to heaven more easily. Another way of looking at these three callings is to see that over and above the common call of baptism, they require a lifelong commitment or vow and are sealed by a sacrament or sacramental.

Many consider the single life a vocation to which one may be called. After all, God does not seem to call all people to the priesthood, consecrated life, or marriage. Take for instance a person with a severe disability which would make it impossible for him to become a priest or marry or flourish in community or in a hermitage. Are we to consider him “just” a lay person? Shouldn’t we say that some people are called by God specifically to the single state?

When looking at it from the Church’s legal point of view, it is safe to say that the Church does not recognize a “single state”. Loosely speaking, a vocation can refer to many things. Our primary and most important vocation is holiness. Our secondary vocation is the state in life to which God calls us. And in the Church there are three states as noted before. An even more broad understanding of the word vocation can include other traditional vocations or jobs, but these, strictly speaking, concern what a person does rather than who a person is and his relationship with others.

One interesting and important thing to notice is that the person called to marriage, the clergy, or to the consecrated life, not only legally changes his state in the Church but his formal relationships also change. From a single person, the married person becomes two-in-one-flesh with another person. A single (or married individual) becomes another Christ, who imitates Christ by mirroring his relationship of Bridegroom to the Church by becoming a cleric when acting in persona Christi. A person in the consecrated life either is a disciple of Christ (male) or becomes the bride of Christ (female). There is a true transformation on the ontological level on one who has followed the call to one of these vocations.

Since all the baptized begin as single, lay Catholics, it does not make sense to say that this merits the title of its own state because it does not require a personal and permanent commitment to an additional relationship over and above that of an adopted son or daughter of God. It is, however, important that all lay Catholics, whether married or single, use their time and energy well on this earth so as to spread the kingdom of God.

The married have as their primary duty the raising and education of their children. The single lay Catholics, should dedicate themselves to the service of God and their country as appropriate for those in their circumstances.

Catholic Consecrated Widows

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:58:02 +0000

Sandra and Tom lived in a typical suburban area and were blessed with two children. Sandra worked in an insurance office and Tom was an electrician. They were very active in their parish life. Sixteen years into their marriage, Tom was killed in a car accident. After raising the children through college, Sandra began to participate more in her parish life.

The years flew by and Sandra was a member of the parish council and in a lot of other parish groups. Then one day Sandra felt that she was being called to dedicate her life to God. This attraction grew over time, and so she began to do research to see if there was anything for widows. While surfing on the internet, she discovered a religious institution in the Church that had a program for consecrated widows that allowed widows to live a life dedicated to God in a supportive setting. This community gave her formation and she eventually made promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience and lived as a dedicated widow.

In this story, our fictional Sandra represents one way that widows have found in the Roman Catholic Church for living out a dedication to Christ and His people. Some institutes within the Church have extended memberships to widows in a way that resembles third orders. The widows are given a special formation and a rule of life or guidance in living according to the charism of that institute. Frequently they make a vow or promise of chastity. When they are associated with an institute, they may also make promises or vows of poverty and obedience, to be lived out as defined by the rules of that institute that are applicable to them. Canonically, a widow associated with such an institute is not considered a consecrated widow, because she remains in the lay state.

Another route a Catholic widow who wishes to dedicate her life totally to Christ as her new Husband may desire to take in the Roman Catholic Church is to make a private vow of chastity. By this vow, she promises not to remarry and that she will live a chaste life as a widow for the sake of the Kingdom. Since she desires to dedicate her life totally to Christ, she should live out the evangelical counsels of poverty and obedience to the extent that her circumstances call for this. Such a widow is not technically a consecrated widow, but she is a dedicated lay person.

Those who opt to make a private vow of chastity (and possibly of poverty) should do so under the guidance of a spiritual director or priest. This would ensure that the formula of the vow would be valid and to help the Catholic widow assess her situation to make sure that the Lord is indeed calling her to a life of blessed widowhood dedicated to Christ.

Some Orders in the Catholic Church accept older women and widows with adult children. If a Catholic widow joins a religious order, she becomes a religious sister or nun and is considered to be in the consecrated state because she is a religious.

The Roman Catholic Church does not have a special consecration for widows/widowers, although there was a special Order of Widows in the ancient Christian Church. Rome is currently working on a Rite of Consecration for Catholic widows, but until such a Rite is promulgated, widows are encouraged to ask Rome for this consecration. With a Rite, the widows could become Diocesan or Consecrated Widows, making them members of the consecrated state in the Church.

In the Eastern Catholic Churches widows and widowers may be consecrated and are canonically recognized as consecrated widows/widowers, and are consequently in the consecrated state. Two observations are in order here. First, to the author’s knowledge, there are no known consecrated widows/widowers in the Eastern Catholic Churches in the States or Canada. There might not even be a Rite constituted for their consecration. Second, Roman Catholics should not become an Eastern Catholic simply for consecration. An Eastern Church has its own patrimony, spirituality, etc., and a person born into the Roman Catholic Church should remain a Roman Catholic unless he/she marries an Eastern Catholic.