by Therese Ivers, JCL

Way back in September, I was asked to help with an upcoming retreat for women discerning their vocations and who feel like they’re beating their heads on the wall “discerning to death”.  This topic really resonated with me, and as I continue to prepare for this weekend’s retreat, I am seeing more and more how although there is plenty of literature giving pieces of information about the discernment process, there is hardly anything out there that talks about how to bring it to a peaceful conclusion.  The goal of discernment is to figure out God’s will in one’s life, most particularly whether God is calling one to assume a lifelong commitment by virtue of ordination, vow, or consecration.  In theory figuring out one’s vocation sounds pretty straightforward, but plenty of folks agonize over it, and some have never reached a practical conclusion as to whether there is a state in life they should pursue.  How exactly does a person go from the beginning to the middle and then reach the end of vocational discernment?

Vocations and the Fairy Tale

Good fairy tales touch upon the deep desires of human beings.  Some are about wealth as the reward of virtue and valor, a concept that even Our Lord uses in speaking about the reward of eternal life.  Others talk about longevity and an absence from the ordinary woes of life (think immortality and the properties of risen bodies).  The majority, however, are about romantic love in which after trial, the princess and the prince happily live together ever after.  Again, this reflects the eternal betrothal between Christ and His Church…

Yet, it never ceases to amaze me when I am judging marriage annulment cases and we get someone under oath testifying that they thought that once they got married, everything would turn out great (despite the fact their spouse was abusively beating them daily during their courtship, they were both high on drugs most of the time, that they had two or three children before they decided to get officially hitched…) simply and solely because getting married in the Church was somehow going to magically make things different!  It gets worse when they blame people in the Church for their failed marriage (why didn’t the priest stop us?)!  How is it that the fairy tale of living happily ever after gets drummed into people’s minds when it comes to vocational choices?  I will be forever happy if I marry that person…  I will automatically be holy if I become a priest…  As soon as I slip on that habit or religious life emblem, I’m gonna be floating around in prayer…  It seems to me that good discernment starts with understanding that fairy tales are just that.  Fairy tales.

The process of discerning a vocation starts with the realization that the process usually takes knowledge, dedication, and work.  Knowledge is necessary to make informed choices.  How much do you as a discerner know about the vocations open to you in the Church?  It takes dedication to following the will of God.  It also takes effort, or work.

One can say that the time of courtship, discernment for the seminary, convent, or other form of consecrated life, is normally a time of mutual discovery.  It takes work, both on the part of the person making the decision to pursue a particular path or narrow it down to a path, and of the person(s) who admit that person into vows (think marriage, religious life, diocesan hermit life, and secular institutes), consecration (consecrated virgins) and ordination (diaconate, priesthood, and episcopacy).  One who is discerning should work not only at improving knowledge about vocations, but self-knowledge so that obstacles and fears may be evaluated and addressed.

The Goal

The final goal of vocational discernment is to make vows, be consecrated or be ordained if this should be the Lord’s will.  Yet, the immediate goal of the discerner should be to do what it takes to determine which path (if any) to which one seems to have a genuine call and make a decision to pursue it in a prudent fashion. That way, one can peacefully but purposefully pursue a possible call and offer oneself to a concrete person, diocese, order, or institute if one prudently and prayerfully determines they could be a fit.  Of course a person should be “open” in that the other person, diocese, order, or institute may determine that it is not their vocation to be united with you in their particular path to holiness.

(c) 2009 by Therese Ivers, JCL and www.DoIHaveAVocation.com.  All rights reserved.

Table of contents for Congress Pilgrimage 2008 Rome

1. International Congress Pilgrimage of Consecrated Virgins Rome 2008 Day 1
2. International Congress Pilgrimage of Virgins Rome 2008 Part II
3. International Congress Pilgrimage of Consecrated Virgins, Rome Day III
4. Consecrated Virgins International Congress Mass Days IV and V

Today, the schedule for the congress was quite busy. The day was kicked off with a Mass at St. Peter’s Basilica celebrated by Cardinal Rode, Prefect of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life. Concelebrating with His Eminence were 8 other (arch)bishops, including Archbishop Burke from St. Louis Missouri. Immediately after the Mass, the 500 consecrated virgins were received in private audience by His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI.

His Holiness addressed the 500 virgins, cardinal, and bishops, and virgins representing 52 countries from around the world. Among the virgins attending were some from Iraq, Iran, Tunisia, the Jordan, and Finland.

Excellent presentations were made by two French speakers, one of them being a great liturgist from France, Rev. Marcel Metzger, and a consecrated virgin from France, Ysabel de Andia. Another presentation on consecrated virginity was presented by Bishop Demetrio Gonzalez, Bishop of Tarazona (Spain) in Spanish. Simultaneous translations were made in the major languages of French, Italian, English, Spanish, and German.

Update May 16, 2008:

Here’s a link to a quick clip on the papal audience:

http://www.h2onews.org/_page_videoview.php?id_news=691 

While I made a personal recording of most of the talks, our DoIHaveAVocation.com’s team has not translated them from the Italian because we believe they will be made available by the university in the major languages at some point in the near future. If the demand is great enough, we may in the future post the original Italian audios in our upcoming members section.  A text version translated into English of the recorded talks may also be provided.

Cardinal Rode and Therese Ivers

Cardinal Franc Rode presided during the first half of the congress. He gave an excellent introductory talk and it was a great honor for our university to have him with us for the morning. For those have not heard of Cardinal Rode before, he is in charge of the Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life. His office at the Vatican is to represent the Holy Father to religious institutes and others within consecrated life. In other words, your request to have your new order approved on a pontifical level would be processed by his office. Dispensation of vows, dismissal of religious, and other consecrated life related activities are done with a surprisingly small team in a nice set of offices next door to St. Peter’s Square.

The second half of the convention was presided over by Archbishop Francesco Coccopalmerio. Great talks were given and the discussion that ensued was lively and interesting. Of personal interest to me was the fact that during the break I had to take an exam and then realized that the author of the book we used was one of our speakers, and so I had him autograph it.

Overall, the experience at the congress was very positive and provided much needed insight into workable models of authority within religious life. It was refreshing to see the enthusiasm of the participants in this conference as it was a very valuable contribution to a deeper understanding of the vocation to religious life. This experience inspires us at DoIHaveAVocation.com to consider offering a conference for the benefit of those who are discerning their vocations in the Church.

It was an interesting experience. Not only did we do the exam in the Curia office itself, but it was great meeting and speaking with the highest ranking woman in the Vatican who presided over our exams. In addition, I got a tour around the Curia from a priest I had worked with last year, and it was marvelous. He showed me his office, which looks through the columns at St. Peter’s into the square. And then I got the most breathtaking view of St. Peter’s from the balcony over the street Via Conciliazione. You could look directly to the square, and it’s the spot the news agencies crowd when there are huge outdoor Papal events to be covered.

Therese