» Catholic Widows

The Thursday Q & A

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:20:56 +0000

Q. I am a widow. What are my vocational options?
A. If you are a Roman Catholic widow, you are called to live the universal call to holiness. It may be that you have been given a call within a call and that you might be called to marriage, to the religious life, to a society of apostolic life, to become a member of a secular institute, or perhaps to privately dedicate your life to Christ through a life-long private vow of chastity. Of course, it is essential for good discernment that a widow have
gone through a sufficient grieving and adjustment period before seriously contemplating possibly taking on a new life-long commitment.

NB. Eastern Catholic widows have the additional possibility of entering the consecrated state as a consecrated widow should they be admitted to this by their local hierarch.

www.DoIHaveAVocation.com

Consecrated Virgins Part I

Fri, 22 May 2009 07:35:10 +0000

by Therese Ivers, JCL

Eleven votes have been cast in favor of having this month’s theme be consecrated virginity. As I sat down to begin writing this article, one of the first things that came up vividly to my mind were several women who were incorrectly described to me as consecrated virgins. Two I met on a trip, and somehow they became locally known as consecrated virgins since they would *like* to be consecrated, but they are in fact, not. Female members of one of the secular institutes I am familiar with also are known -mistakenly- in their local areas as “consecrated virgins”. Finally, members of an international group have oftentimes referred to themselves as “consecrated women” or “consecrated virgins” despite a complete lack of canonical status as such. To help facilitate a better understanding of what a consecrated virgin is – or is not – I thought it would be helpful to have a mini-series of FAQs on consecrated virgins.

Q. Can a widow become a consecrated virgin?

A. No. It is assumed that a wife who has lived even a night under the same marital roof as her spouse has consummated the marriage, thereby surrendering her physical virginity. This is why the Church requires that candidates “never have been married or lived in public or open violation of chastity”.

Q. May a “renewed virgin” receive the consecration?

A. A female who has voluntarily and completely experienced sexual pleasure is not eligible for the consecration, for she cannot offer God physical virginity. As St. Jerome put it, in his twenty-second Epistle to St. Eustochium, n. 5 (P.L., XXII, 397), “I tell you without hesitation that though God is almighty, He cannot restore a virginity that has been lost.” Although generous repentance may restore “spiritual” virginity, physical virginity cannot be restored, and both physical and spiritual virginity are required for a valid consecration.

Q. Where can I find a sample of a rule of life for consecrated virgins?

A. Consecrated virgins live “under the direction” of their bishop. Nevertheless, this direction is more akin to that of married couples being under the care of their pastor than that of religious to their superior. Consecrated virgins do not profess public vows nor do they live according to a rule of life unless they are also religious, diocesan hermits, or members of secular institutes. Because consecrated virgins living in the world are not subject by the vow of obedience to their bishop, and are not required to follow a rule of life (any more than married women are required to follow a rule of life), drafting and following a rule of life is completely optional for most consecrated virgins. Actually, in most instances, it would be imprudent to have a rule of life, for the virgin living in the world lives in the world with all the variables and cares that implies. The advice of a spiritual director should be followed if a virgin is considering adopting a rule of life.

Q. Does a female religious have to be a virgin?

A. No. Only female religious who desire to receive the consecration of virgins must be virgins. Some communities such as certain Abbeys in the Benedictine Order have traditionally offered the consecration of virgins to their members in perpetual vows. In such a case, the individual member desirous of receiving this consecration should be in truth a virgin.

Q. The Rite of Consecration says that a person must never been married, nor have publicly or openly violated chastity. I secretly had a one night stand that nobody knows about 20 years ago. Can I receive the consecration?

A. While it is true that you weren’t married nor lived in public or open violation of chastity (as in the case of cohabiting), your virginity was lost in the one night stand and thus you are unable to validly receive the consecration. Perhaps some other vocational options are available for your prayerful discernment and consideration.

Q. Are all religious women, female members of secular institutes, and female hermits “consecrated virgins?”

A. No. Consecrated virgins are female virgins who have been consecrated by their bishop according to the norms of canon 604 and the Rite itself. Devout women under a private vow of chastity, women in secular 3rd orders, members of religious orders, and others who have not specifically received the consecration conferred by their bishop are technically not consecrated virgins. Given the promiscuous lifestyles of today’s youth and young women, a large percentage of those in consecrated life are probably not virgins, nor are they required to enter as physical virgins. Only those females who wish to receive the consecration of virgins are required to be virgins and to maintain both physical and spiritual virginity. Those in other forms of consecrated life are required to exercise “chastity”, which in their case means perpetual continence and celibacy.

To be continued. But, before this series is continued, I need 5 serious and respectful comments on this post.

Catholic Consecrated Widows

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 00:58:02 +0000

Sandra and Tom lived in a typical suburban area and were blessed with two children. Sandra worked in an insurance office and Tom was an electrician. They were very active in their parish life. Sixteen years into their marriage, Tom was killed in a car accident. After raising the children through college, Sandra began to participate more in her parish life.

The years flew by and Sandra was a member of the parish council and in a lot of other parish groups. Then one day Sandra felt that she was being called to dedicate her life to God. This attraction grew over time, and so she began to do research to see if there was anything for widows. While surfing on the internet, she discovered a religious institution in the Church that had a program for consecrated widows that allowed widows to live a life dedicated to God in a supportive setting. This community gave her formation and she eventually made promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience and lived as a dedicated widow.

In this story, our fictional Sandra represents one way that widows have found in the Roman Catholic Church for living out a dedication to Christ and His people. Some institutes within the Church have extended memberships to widows in a way that resembles third orders. The widows are given a special formation and a rule of life or guidance in living according to the charism of that institute. Frequently they make a vow or promise of chastity. When they are associated with an institute, they may also make promises or vows of poverty and obedience, to be lived out as defined by the rules of that institute that are applicable to them. Canonically, a widow associated with such an institute is not considered a consecrated widow, because she remains in the lay state.

Another route a Catholic widow who wishes to dedicate her life totally to Christ as her new Husband may desire to take in the Roman Catholic Church is to make a private vow of chastity. By this vow, she promises not to remarry and that she will live a chaste life as a widow for the sake of the Kingdom. Since she desires to dedicate her life totally to Christ, she should live out the evangelical counsels of poverty and obedience to the extent that her circumstances call for this. Such a widow is not technically a consecrated widow, but she is a dedicated lay person.

Those who opt to make a private vow of chastity (and possibly of poverty) should do so under the guidance of a spiritual director or priest. This would ensure that the formula of the vow would be valid and to help the Catholic widow assess her situation to make sure that the Lord is indeed calling her to a life of blessed widowhood dedicated to Christ.

Some Orders in the Catholic Church accept older women and widows with adult children. If a Catholic widow joins a religious order, she becomes a religious sister or nun and is considered to be in the consecrated state because she is a religious.

The Roman Catholic Church does not have a special consecration for widows/widowers, although there was a special Order of Widows in the ancient Christian Church. Rome is currently working on a Rite of Consecration for Catholic widows, but until such a Rite is promulgated, widows are encouraged to ask Rome for this consecration. With a Rite, the widows could become Diocesan or Consecrated Widows, making them members of the consecrated state in the Church.

In the Eastern Catholic Churches widows and widowers may be consecrated and are canonically recognized as consecrated widows/widowers, and are consequently in the consecrated state. Two observations are in order here. First, to the author’s knowledge, there are no known consecrated widows/widowers in the Eastern Catholic Churches in the States or Canada. There might not even be a Rite constituted for their consecration. Second, Roman Catholics should not become an Eastern Catholic simply for consecration. An Eastern Church has its own patrimony, spirituality, etc., and a person born into the Roman Catholic Church should remain a Roman Catholic unless he/she marries an Eastern Catholic.