Sandra and Tom lived in a typical suburban area and were blessed with two children. Sandra worked in an insurance office and Tom was an electrician. They were very active in their parish life. Sixteen years into their marriage, Tom was killed in a car accident. After raising the children through college, Sandra began to participate more in her parish life.

The years flew by and Sandra was a member of the parish council and in a lot of other parish groups. Then one day Sandra felt that she was being called to dedicate her life to God. This attraction grew over time, and so she began to do research to see if there was anything for widows. While surfing on the internet, she discovered a religious institution in the Church that had a program for consecrated widows that allowed widows to live a life dedicated to God in a supportive setting. This community gave her formation and she eventually made promises of poverty, chastity, and obedience and lived as a dedicated widow.

In this story, our fictional Sandra represents one way that widows have found in the Roman Catholic Church for living out a dedication to Christ and His people. Some institutes within the Church have extended memberships to widows in a way that resembles third orders. The widows are given a special formation and a rule of life or guidance in living according to the charism of that institute. Frequently they make a vow or promise of chastity. When they are associated with an institute, they may also make promises or vows of poverty and obedience, to be lived out as defined by the rules of that institute that are applicable to them. Canonically, a widow associated with such an institute is not considered a consecrated widow, because she remains in the lay state.

Another route a Catholic widow who wishes to dedicate her life totally to Christ as her new Husband may desire to take in the Roman Catholic Church is to make a private vow of chastity. By this vow, she promises not to remarry and that she will live a chaste life as a widow for the sake of the Kingdom. Since she desires to dedicate her life totally to Christ, she should live out the evangelical counsels of poverty and obedience to the extent that her circumstances call for this. Such a widow is not technically a consecrated widow, but she is a dedicated lay person.

Those who opt to make a private vow of chastity (and possibly of poverty) should do so under the guidance of a spiritual director or priest. This would ensure that the formula of the vow would be valid and to help the Catholic widow assess her situation to make sure that the Lord is indeed calling her to a life of blessed widowhood dedicated to Christ.

Some Orders in the Catholic Church accept older women and widows with adult children. If a Catholic widow joins a religious order, she becomes a religious sister or nun and is considered to be in the consecrated state because she is a religious.

The Roman Catholic Church does not have a special consecration for widows/widowers, although there was a special Order of Widows in the ancient Christian Church. Rome is currently working on a Rite of Consecration for Catholic widows, but until such a Rite is promulgated, widows are encouraged to ask Rome for this consecration. With a Rite, the widows could become Diocesan or Consecrated Widows, making them members of the consecrated state in the Church.

In the Eastern Catholic Churches widows and widowers may be consecrated and are canonically recognized as consecrated widows/widowers, and are consequently in the consecrated state. Two observations are in order here. First, to the author’s knowledge, there are no known consecrated widows/widowers in the Eastern Catholic Churches in the States or Canada. There might not even be a Rite constituted for their consecration. Second, Roman Catholics should not become an Eastern Catholic simply for consecration. An Eastern Church has its own patrimony, spirituality, etc., and a person born into the Roman Catholic Church should remain a Roman Catholic unless he/she marries an Eastern Catholic.

© 2007 by Therese Ivers and DoIHaveAVocation.com

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